Trader Joe's Oven-Baked Cheese Bites

I have found Nirvana, and it's been in the snack aisle of Trader Joe's.

You know how when you bake a casserole with cheese on top, and the cheese at the edges gets baked hard and crunchy and it turns out to be the best part of the whole dish? Well, some culinary genius in Italy has figured out how to manufacture just those crunchy cheese bits without bothering with the whole casserole. And they've sold the result to Trader Joe's.

Hear me well: This is the best snack food I've ever had from TJ's. Perfect flavor. Perfect texture. Perfect saltiness.

It's so damn good that after eating one bag, I never want to be without it in my life. It is simultaneously going on my "buy again" list, my "staples" list, and my "Top Ten" list.

If this product were a dog, it would get a 14/10 from We Rate Dogs. H*ckin cheesy af. Would eat endlessly. They're good snacks, Brent.

My cat usually likes sharing bits of cheese that I'm eating. Oddly, she sniffed at but would not eat a small piece of one of these Cheese Bites that I broke off for her. But, y'know, she's a cat--what the hell does she know?

I am going to eat these until I have a heart attack, and then when I'm in the hospital, I'm going to demand that they grind more of them up into a powder and put them in my IV line.

Now that I know how good a snack can be, if this item is ever discontinued, I shall lose the will to live, and be obliged to find the highest tower in the land from which to hurl my miserable self.


Will I buy it again? 

Away with such foolish questions.