Trader Joe's Egg Nog Ice Cream

This is the fourth Trader Joe's ice cream I have tried (with "ice cream" there understood to encompass all similar products even if they don't technically qualify as ice cream). The first three have all been outstanding: pomegranate blueberry sherbet, Soy Creamy Cherry Chocolate Chip (review pending), and Chocolate Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert.  Would TJ's be able to keep the streak going and make it four out of four excellent ice creams?

Sadly, no. This was a major disappointment. I always liked the taste of egg nog when I was growing up and Dad would make it for us. Always the non-alcoholic kind, of course. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never had the "adult" version.

But this ice cream tastes almost nothing like that. It's really much more like a French vanilla ice cream. The spicing is so mild that it might as well not even be there. The list of ingredients says that there is "bourbon vanilla extract" present, but I sure can't taste it.

Overall, I didn't hate it, but I sorely wished that it had been something more special, more distinctive--more like what it purports to be.

For a concurring opinion, see this review from the "What's Good at Trader Joe's" blog.

Will I buy it again? 

No. On the rare occasion that I want French vanilla ice cream, I'll buy French vanilla ice cream.

Trader Joe's Chocolate Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Made With Coconut Milk

Asheville has a restaurant called "Plant" (just a stone's throw from Trader Joe's, by coincidence) in which every item on the menu is vegan. Nina and I ate there once just after I had moved here. What I remember most about it was the amazing non-dairy ice cream, made from coconut milk. I never would have been able to tell that it wasn't the real thing. It recently got picked up for national distribution as part of the Amy's Kitchen line of natural/organic grocery items.

After the rousing success of my first trial of a Trader Joe's ice cream product (the luscious Pomegranate Blueberry Sherbet), I was ready for another. When I saw this chocolate fake ice cream made from coconut milk, I immediately remembered the stuff from Plant, and grabbed a pint, hoping that it would be as good, though with some trepidation that it might be inferior, and thus a big disappointment.

I was not disappointed. It's scrumptious. I ate half of the pint in my first sitting, and (1) that was after a big dinner, and (2) I definitely could have polished off the whole thing, absent the exercise of a heaping helping of self-restraint.

It's soft, creamy, smooth, delicious. There is definitely a coconut note present, but I consider that a plus; coconut and chocolate are a great combination, as the Mounds bar proved decades ago. I will go so far as to say that if all real chocolate ice cream vanished from the face of the earth tomorrow, leaving only this product, I would not miss the dairy stuff. I could be entirely content substituting this for chocolate ice cream as long as I live.

Now the question is, can I refrain from eating every last bit that's left before Nina's next visit three days from now? If I can manage that kind of self-discipline, I think I'll qualify as a Shaolin monk.

If you're thinking that that kind of praise is leading up to another Top Ten award, you are correct.

Will I buy it again? 

Definitely. I'm also eager to try the Plant/Amy's version once it hits stores, and compare them side by side.

Nina's View

There was indeed a spoonful and a half in the bottom of the carton by the time I arrived. I ate that spoonful and a half and I liked it. Since I'm gradually reducing dairy in my diet (I will spare you the disquisition on how dairy farming is basically the production of JUICE OF PAIN), I've found that coconut milk makes a pretty decent substitute in many cases. This would be one of those.

Weirdo that I am, chocolate is not at the top of my favorites list. I'd welcome the opportunity to try other flavors of this confection.

Trader Joe's Cruciferous Crunch Collection, and Trader Joe's Organics Baby Lettuce Mix

I first heard of the "Cruciferous Crunch Collection" from a post on Twitter. The name was intriguing, and I wanted to learn more about it. A Google search led me to this excellent review on the "Eat at Joe's" blog:

The Cruciferous Crunch Collection, as is not at all clear from the title, is a bag of shredded kale, Brussels sprouts, green cabbage and red cabbage. It is, in short, the nightmare scenario of every little kid sitting down to the dinner table. Back in the day that would have been me panicking at the site of kale, however since growing to adulthood I’ve developed a certain fondness for robust salads. To the modern day me, this bag of greens is a god send. The texture and heft of your greens are aspects of salads that go criminally under appreciated. Every time you’ve ever sat down do a cold plate of watery iceberg lettuce, someone has taken the texture and heft of their salad greens for granted. The absolute bastards. 

Trader Joe’s Cruciferous Crunch mix brings vibrant tastes and textures to your salad, shading the other elements with the nutritious, nutty flavor of kale, the crunch of crisp shredded cabbage, and the dense chewiness of sliced Burssels sprouts. Throwing an handful of two of this mix in with your bed of baby spinach, romaine or, dear I say it, arugula, is the easiest thing you could do to upgrade your entire salad experience.

I was kind of intimidated at the thought of eating a raw mix of kale, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts alone, so I liked the idea of using it instead as a mix with tamer salads. That's why I bought the baby lettuce mix with it. I can't really review either one alone, since the only way I've had them is as a roughly 50/50 blend. 

And put together that way, they're excellent. Mr. Eating-At-Joe's is exactly right about what the cruciferous veggies do to a salad in terms of "texture and heft." I had worried a bit that it would add a lawn-clippings taste, but I did not find that to be the case. I've had the blend of these two bagged salads now with two different salad dressings (one a sweet/fruity pomegranate dressing, the other a tangy tomato-based one, similar to Kraft Catalina), and liked it with both. 

This part is probably pure imagination or wishful thinking at work, but I got the impression that I was eating something super-healthy, the likes of which should immunize me from any and all diseases that might try to take hold of my fragile flesh. 

Will I buy it again? 

Yes, to both items. However, I wish TJ's would sell the cruciferous blend in smaller bags. Even eating a salad a day, I'm unlikely to be able to finish off a bag of this size before it goes bad. 

Nina’s View

We have reached that banner day upon which Bob is actually more enthusiastic about a green salad-y item than I am. I will pause while you let the occasion sink in, in all its momentousness: and lo! a foodie was born!

My main objection here is not at all to the baby lettuces, or indeed the concept of the cruciferous crunch collection, or the adding thereof to make a pleasing blend. It boils down to one thing. Brussels sprouts: they ought not be raw.

There. I’ve said it.

Brussels sprouts should come in size “baby” and be gently steamed to tenderness, or in size “smallish" so that they can be oven roasted to brown, crispy-soft-sweet perfection. Slicing and eating them raw is wrong and barbaric and I am not having it!

I accept, rationally, that essentially they are just mini-cabbages and thus subject to the slaw preparation. You will never convince me, however, that this is a worthy preparation of them. Go away with your uncooked Brussels sprouts. Away, I tell you!

Trader Joe's Peanutters Peanut Butter Cookies

Oh, Trader Joe's! How can you make your ginger snaps so wonderful, and these so terrible?

They are almost completely lacking in peanut flavor, leaning much more heavily to tasting like butter cookies. They are unforgivably brittle, falling apart in the tub and in one's hand. They are oily. The "peanut flavored chips" are--well, I'm not sure what they are, but they are nasty in both texture and taste.

A complete fail on every count.

Will I buy it again? 

I love peanut butter cookies. But since I don't consider these to actually be peanut butter cookies, it's easy to turn my back on them forever.


Addendum 

After writing the above, I couldn't decide what to do with the 95% of the tub of cookies I had left over. It finally dawned on me that I could, for the first time, try Trader Joe's vaunted no-questions-asked refund policy. So I took the tub of cookies to the customer service desk the next time I went shopping. True to their word, I just said, "I didn't like these at all," and the clerk apologized and whipped off a voucher for store credit, which I presented when I checked out with my purchases. I had the receipt, but didn't even need it. Fast, easy, painless.

Nina's View

No. Just no.

They are not nice. Oily sawdust nuggets would probably be tastier.

Do not buy them.

I would gladly slave over a hot stove all day (and by "all day" I mean about half an hour) to produce my own peanut cookies, if it meant that this product would never again see the light of day.

Roundup

This week's collection of links related to Trader Joe's. It's been a slow news week.


How to choose between Whole Foods and Trader Joe's 

Trader Joe's is the Disney World of grocery stores 

A Trader Joe's top choice wine 


Finally, in lieu of the usual finale of a "cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag" photo, I give you a "cat loves Trader Joe's coconut oil" video:

Trader Joe's Chicken Pot Pie

I get lazy and heat up a frozen pot pie of one sort or another a few times a year. I had previously tried one from Trader Joe's refrigerated section. I didn't like it primarily because it had way too many onions. Onions ruin whatever they touch. This has also been the downfall of some other brands that otherwise showed promise, including Marie Calender's and Claim Jumper,

This frozen variety, fortunately, does not suffer from the same fatal defect. However, it is completely bland and uninteresting. (And to all the smartasses who immediately see a connection there--no, its blandness would not be improved by adding onions.)

I also don't get the claim that this is a serving for two people. I had a whole one for my lunch, plus a hearty salad, plus some chips and dip. I am not a big guy. It might have been a little bit more than I would have thought ideal, but not a lot.

Will I buy it again? 

Probably not. It just didn't excite me.

Trader Joe's Mini Gingerbread Men

I like these a lot. They're crisp and heavily gingery, and the icing provides just the right amount of contrasting sweetness. Frankly, what I was expecting from these was bland, generic, boxed, mass-produced grocery store cookies--but they surprised me by being much tastier than that.

Will I buy it again? 

I'd be happy to have another box next year.