Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


14 amazing Trader Joe's holiday treats and desserts

40 festive holiday gifts from Trader Joe's for under $10

10 Trader Joe's holiday items you need to try



Best tweets of the week:

Just tried #TraderJoes bourbon cake. It tastes like bad decisions. Would eat again.

— Actually a Cat (@theratheroddone) December 1, 2018

I think #TraderJoes forgot that zombies were an Easter thing and not a Christmas thing pic.twitter.com/QA9xkxHAnb

— Richard (@PopstarRichard) December 2, 2018

Shoutout to the guy at #TraderJoes right now going full #Lebowski in his robe and slippers.

— Pocho Villa 🇲🇽 (@CasaDeHank) December 3, 2018

#TraderJoes definitely wins for sexiest grocery store shelf stocker gents. It’s more like casting than hiring, really. I’d love to put one of those guys and their beards and tattoos in my cart and take him home. #ifIwereInCharge

— ThingsIThink (@SemiLucidMusing) December 3, 2018

I just ate half a tub of #traderjoes triple ginger snap cookies in one sitting. That's basically how I'm handling the cold weather, building a protective layer of fat.

— Ishena Robinson (@ishenarobinson) December 4, 2018

I’ve been through trials before but nothing like when the staff at #TraderJoes told me they are “indefinitely out of stock” of soft and juicy mandarins. Pray for me in this extremely difficult time

— smellen (@smellenjane) December 6, 2018

Normal people preparing for a snowstorm: “We should get staples that will last the weekend.”

Me: “Let’s fucking get a case of two-buck chuck and light this mofo snowmeggaden up!”#ad #TraderJoes

— miranda (@randapaige) December 7, 2018

Actual conversation at #TraderJoes “where can I find honey crisp apples?” Produce guy says “these are the highest in sugar”then he adds. It’s the most unhealthy apple you can buy and I immediately look at him and say “probably better than a brownie” 😂🤪🍎🍏don’t #fruitshame me!

— Lauren Arky (@LaurenArky) December 7, 2018

And finally, here's this week's cute cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag:

Trader Joe's Sourdough Batard

"In France, not all long loaves are baguettes; for example, a short, almost rugby ball-shaped loaf is a bâtard (literally, bastard), or a "torpedo loaf" in English; its origin is variously explained, but undocumented." So explains Wikipedia. 

I think this is unusually good for store-bought sourdough. Nice flavor, nice crust. For eating straight up with butter, or for making some toast, it does great. Its shape, however, prevents it from being useful as a sandwich bread--unless you happen to like short, wide sandwiches. 

Will I buy it again? 

Probably not. I'll still buy my sourdough loaves from a nearby Atlanta Bread Company. 

Trader Joe's Cranberry Persimmon Relish

This is Trader Joe's newest version of cranberry sauce, so of course I had to try it for Thanksgiving.

I liked it, didn't love it. It's overly sweetened, so the tartness from the cranberries is completely overwhelmed. I couldn't detect any persimmon flavor, but the orange definitely comes through, as does the distinctive taste of the cloves.


Will I buy it again? 

No. It's a mildly interesting variation on the traditional theme, but I much prefer TJ's famous Fresh Cranberry Sauce.

Trader Joe's Mystery Pack 2018

Nina bought this for me. You get three randomly selected reusable grocery bags. 

I got this one from Missouri (maybe specifically Branson?):

And this one from New Jersey: 

And this lovely one called "Nocturne," without a geographical specification: 

Will I buy it again? 

Not for myself; I have plenty of bags now. But it would make an easy, inexpensive gift for all sorts of people.

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Raisin Bagels

I loves me a good cinnamon-raisin bagel.

What is in this bag is not a good cinnamon-raisin bagel, but a disappointingly mediocre one. (Or six disappointingly mediocre ones, if you're counting.) Sure, there's a limit to how good a mass-produced bagel can be, but my feeling is that Trader Joe's isn't even trying to bump up against that ceiling. The flavors are dull, and the texture is too soft and thoroughly unbagelly.

I suppose they'll do in a pinch, when every bakery in town is closed for a holiday or something, and yet you desperately need a cinnamon-raisin bagel. But if you have just about any other choice, take it.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Organic Thai-Style Carrot & Sweet Potato Soup

I was looking for a Thanksgiving side dish that would be some sort of unusual twist on the traditional holiday fare. When I noticed this, it seemed like exactly the thing. Carrots and sweet potatoes, but "Thai-style"--perfect!

Well, it's a fine idea, but poorly executed. As Nina noted, there's nothing distinctly Thai about it. Which is kind of surprising, after realizing that the list of ingredients seems to hit all the right notes: coconut milk, onions, red curry paste, chili peppers, red bell peppers, lemongrass powder, turmeric, lime juice, ginger, etc. But it all somehow gets badly muted and ends up just conveying a vague sense of mild spiciness.

It's not bad. We both ate our share, and I finished up the rest with lunch a few days later. But it feels like a letdown, as if a really creative idea had been ruined somewhere between conception and production. I blame that infamous Trader Joe's Blandification Committee.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


Judge dismisses lawsuit over Trader Joe's electrolyte water claims

7 reasons why Trader Joe's is so cheap

Should America be run by Trader Joe's? (Freakonomics podcast, 47 minutes)

9 things you need from Trader Joe's for your holiday party

How to host a wine and cheese night on a budget



Best tweets of the week:

#TraderJoes distancing themselves from illegal #JingleJangle activities @CW_Riverdale pic.twitter.com/itSGmZlr8p

— Suddenly Stacy (@amarettosaurus) November 27, 2018

That #TraderJoes free sample looked so good until the attendant coughed on her hands 😑

— Kenneth Westling (@westlingk) November 28, 2018

My husband thought he was getting a holiday tin of popcorn from #TraderJoes, but all he got was a $10 bucket of deceit. You should be ashamed of yourselves. pic.twitter.com/hEyeENJmT3

— VampireKitten (@VampireKitten) November 29, 2018

You could 100% put #TraderJoes butternut squash Mac n cheese on a restaurant menu and I’d pay ALL THE MONIES for it. Luckily, it’s like $3. 💁🏼‍♀️

— Courtney Cartier (@CourtneyCartier) November 29, 2018

I just ate a half bag of peanut butter pretzels from #traderjoes in one sitting. pic.twitter.com/t4wF8bPXk1

— Lauren (@Laurenbella) November 29, 2018

My dog likes #TraderJoes veggie chips....weirdo... 🤨

— Brittany Nanosky (@BWhip324) November 29, 2018

The people’s court is on and I have #traderjoes Chardonnay + fresh baked cookies + a lighted Christmas tree next to me...so you could say I’m living the dream yup #thepeoplescourt #la pic.twitter.com/Hj2oWHiQDZ

— Loryn Marie (@LorynLulu) December 1, 2018

Cancelling Christmas because I found out #TraderJoes has discontinued their sticky toffee pudding pic.twitter.com/hShdvEvYWH

— ℒex (@lexipalm) December 1, 2018

And finally, here's this week's cute cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag:

What's in your #TraderJoes bag? @TraderJoesList @TraderJoesBest pic.twitter.com/Zgo3o6LSQD

— Heidi Kerr-Schlaefer (@HeidiTown) November 26, 2018