Trader Joe's Lemongrass Chicken Stix

I was torn about buying these, because it really doesn't make sense for me to keep reviewing chicken products when my conclusion is always going to be that I won't buy them again because I almost never buy chicken products. Maybe I'll stop after this.

Anyway, I heated these in the oven, not with the alternative "deep fry" method. Based on long, unhappy experience with TJ's freezer-to-oven products, I left them in for 15 minutes instead of the recommended 10-12, and was probably correct to do so. They came out just right. The wrapping was crispy but not burned, and the inside was hot all the way through.

I liked the texture. The flavor, not so much. It was very hard to taste anything except lemongrass, cabbage, and green onion. I assume there was some chicken in there somewhere, but if I had been tasting these blindfolded, I would have guessed they were vegetarian.

The portion size seems to assume they're just being used as an appetizer. It says serving size is two rolls, with five servings in the box. (But I was given nine rolls, not ten. Highway robbery!) And I ate five rolls for one lunch, along with a side of fresh veggies and a salad. Plan accordingly.

I threw away the remaining four. I just didn't care for them at all.


Will I buy it again? 

No. And I wouldn't even if chicken were still one of my staple dietary items.

Trader Joe's Chicken Chilaquiles Rojo

As regular readers know, I hate onions. I can tolerate them in small amounts, but what's in this package can in no way be deemed "small amounts." I ripped open the top, looked down inside, and saw a ton of chopped onion pieces. Ugh. I managed to fish out most of them before I started cooking, but I won't want to do that again.

Other than that, I did generally like the flavors here, and the tortilla chips made for a satisfying, crunchy textural contrast.

The package claims that this makes 2 1/2 servings. Uh, no. I'm not a big guy, but I ate the whole thing (minus onions, of course) for my lunch--along with some cooked veggies and a salad. It was a little more than I would have considered the ideal amount, but certainly not enough for two servings, let alone 2 1/2. Did they test the serving size on 8-year-old children?


Will I buy it again? 

No. First, onions. Second, basically the only time I buy grocery products with chicken is when I'm trying them for this blog. Otherwise, I'm happier sticking with plant-based fake meat products. If this were reformulated with about one-tenth the onions and with a meat substitute, then I would readily purchase it again--but I don't see that happening.

Trader Joe's Mini Chicken Tikka Samosas

I'm still very much hit-and-miss on Indian food. I approach it skeptically, worried that it will be too spicy or have too much onion. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I get pleasantly surprised. It's a good strategy, because either I get my prejudices confirmed or I get a tasty meal--and I feel good either way!

These were in the surprisingly good category. I baked them 18 minutes instead of the recommended maximum of 16, based on way too much experience with Trader Joe's underestimating frozen-to-serving cook time. I think I was right to do so. The texture came out perfectly, with delightfully crispy outer pastry (far better than one would expect from a frozen product), but nothing scorched.

The insides were pleasantly spicy--not too much.

Complaints: 1. Serving size of two samosas? TWO? Are you serious? I had six (half of the box) as the main part of my lunch and could have had at least a couple more. On a day with a bigger appetite, I could have eaten all 12--and I weigh only 150 pounds. This is one of the most egregious portion-size misrepresentations I've seen from TJ's. 2. They had an odd sweet note that feels like it doesn't belong. 3. Product of Canada? Really? That's where we get our Indian food now?


Will I buy it again? 

Sadly, no, because chicken. I keep trying to do my small part to reduce the world's industrial poultry-farming, which even the most superficial look will tell you is pretty obscene.

Trader Joe's Chicken Ramen Soup

Pretty clever of Trader Joe's to release two new flavors of ramen soup in the week before the college kids are heading back to the dorms, eh? (Say, did you know that the University of Southern California has student housing with a Trader Joe's right in the same building? It's almost enough to makes me want to go back and do college all over again. Almost.)

Preparation was easy, following the microwave directions: Open the two little packets inside (one powdered flavoring, one oil), add water, zap for 90 seconds, stir, and let sit for six minutes. The noodles came out cooked just right.

But I can't say I'm excited about the result. Nothing terrible, but it's pretty generic chicken-noodle soup, with a heavy emphasis on the "noodle" part, and only hints and whiffs of the "chicken" part. You could buy any number of similar but better products in a can (and have a recyclable container, rather than one in the trash, as this cup will be).


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Chicken & Vegetable Wonton Soup

I had to look at this several times to be sure I was grasping the concept correctly: frozen soup??? Yep.

You take the bowl from the freezer, peel back the plastic film just enough to be able to add water to the indicated fill line, then microwave for five minutes--that's it.

It smelled strongly of onion while it was cooking, which worried me, but the flavor of onion was not enough to be a problem.

If you've paid attention to the discrepancies between manufactured food package photographs and actual products, you know not to expect the soup to look as you see here. It's much more broth and much less solid ingredients. In particular, it's seriously lacking in vegetables compared to the picture. There are some carrot shreds (not cut pieces as shown), and a few flat bean pods, but that's about it.

The wontons are decent, but so big they're hard to eat. I'd prefer if they miniaturized them down to bite-size, spoon-size.


Will I buy it again? 

No. It wasn't as bad as my worst fears, and actually made a fairly nice centerpiece of my lunch. But between having chicken (which I try to avoid), having a hard plastic one-time-use bowl to add to a landfill, and being only OK instead of something great, this will remain a one-time experiment in a little TJ's oddity.

Trader Joe's Chicken Enchiladas Verde

There's a lot here: four enchiladas (though that's not obvious from simple inspection), and each legitimately large enough to be the centerpiece of a meal, as the suggested serving size correctly indicates. Being refrigerated, rather than frozen, they preserve a decent sense of being fresh. And they're super-easy to prepare, with just a couple of minutes in the microwave. I found a little more sogginess of the wrap than you'd get in a restaurant, but not intolerable.

However:

(1) They're really stuffed full of chicken. I realize that many, perhaps most, buyers will see this as a positive. I don't. My gradual decline in consumption of all meat products continues. Though I'm not opposed to a little chicken occasionally, I'm put off by having so much of it at once. (I felt the same way about the Chicken Breast Parmigiana.)

(2) They're too bland. They haven't had the flavor fully beaten out of them by the Trader Joe's Blandification Committe, but at least a couple of committee members took a whack or two.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Pollo Asado Burrito

This is one of the weirdest burritos I've ever had. The ingredients aren't too unconventional, but the overall flavor profile is. I taste basically two things: corn and sugar. If I pay attention, I can notice the presence of beans and rice, too. But while I can see the chicken and cheese, I sure can't taste them, even with effort. Really, what I kept thinking with every bite was, "Why is this so sweet? Burritos aren't supposed to be sweet."


Will I buy it again? 

No. It's weird, off-putting, and slightly disturbing. Plus there's the chicken thing.

Trader Joe's Breaded Chicken Breast Nuggets

These are as good as any frozen chicken nuggets I've ever tried, and better than most. Plump, tender, all white meat, tasty. If it matters to you that they're gluten-free, well, that's an added bonus, but it's not an important feature to me.


Will I buy it again? 

If I were going to make chicken nuggets a regular part of my diet, I would. But I'm perfectly content with some of the plant-based substitutes now available. So I'll spare a few birds' lives by sticking with those.

Trader Joe's Chicken Burrito Bowl

New item; $3.49, serves one.

Based on long experience with Trader Joe's frozen-to-oven foods, I set the timer for 36 minutes, instead of the 25-30 recommended on the side of the box, and it proved to be exactly right. Hot throughout, just a bit crispy at the edges.

I liked the overall result a lot. It felt like just the amount I wanted to eat for my lunch. The level of spiciness hit the sweet spot between blandness and excess. The ratio of chicken nuggets, veggies, and rice/quinoa was pleasing. I really can't think of anything to complain about.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes, though with a caveat common to these posts--specifically, that I would buy it a lot more often if they made it (or made an alternative version) with TJ's own excellent vegan fake chicken. As it stands, my desire to minimize my intake of meats--even those that aren't as objectionable as beef and pork--will be the limiting factor in how often these bowls see the inside of my freezer.

Also: Canada, for Mexican food??? What, is Trump's wall already keeping things out from the south?

Trader Joe's Pizza Al Pollo Asado

It seems strange to use both the "Mexican food" and "pizza" tags simultaneously. But I think I must, because this thing is labeled as a "pizza," but is about as un-Italian as possible. It's a masa corn-flour base with refried beans, salsa, and chunks of chicken breast on top. When baking, it smells just like tortillas frying.

As is so often the case with TJ's frozen foods, it took significantly longer to heat properly than the 10-15 minutes at 400 degrees that the box advised. It was barely warm after 15 minutes, so I gave it another 5, and then it was OK, but still needed a bit more.

It was OK overall, but nothing special. If I'm going to be eating something that is basically a tostada, well, I would rather make my own, as described here. They're not only a mainstay of my diet, but one of my favorite things to eat. Trader Joe's should freeze and sell those instead of this boring little thing.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Fully Baked Chicken Pot Pie

This chicken pot pie has some superficial resemblance to the lovely turkey pot pie, but they are completely different products. It is also completely different from TJ's frozen chicken pot pie. It is better than the latter, not nearly as good as the former.

When faced with the choice between microwave and oven heating, I usually go for the oven. I wish I had done so here. But I was in a bit of a hurry and went for zapping. The result was a top crust so tough that I couldn't cut through it with a fork. I had to resort to cutting it with a sharp knife and ripping it with a fork and a bare hand. I suspect that oven heating would have avoided that problem.

The biggest problem, though, was that this is just too bland and uninteresting.

The package claims three servings. Don't believe it; count on two.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Chicken Tikka Masala

Day Two of Indian Food Week: 



I bought this on my next trip to Trader Joe's after discovering how good the Vegan Tikka Masala was.

This is very similar, and every bit as good. I think I like it a little bit better, just because the chunks of chicken breast have a better taste and texture than the vegan version. But the latter is close, and allows me to make one more reduction in my overall meat consumption, so that's going to be my default choice.


Will I buy it again? 

No--but not because it's not good. See above.

Trader Joe's Chicken Noodle Soup Low Fat

This is a little more flavorful than the ubiquitous Campbell's, but not by a lot. Perhaps the best thing that can be said about it is that I didn't notice anything about it that gave away its low-fat status. That's not nothing, but it's not enough to get me to love it.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Mango Chili Chicken

This is Day 20 of a how-long-can-this-go-on New Products Week, and Day 11 of Mangopalooza. 


This is one of the better new mango products I've tried in the past couple of weeks. But it has some problems.

First, it's kind of a pain in the neck to whip up. You have to bake the chicken pieces, while you're defrosting the packets of mango pieces and sauce. Then you have to sautee them all together. And you're probably making rice or noodles separately to put the finished concoction on. It ends up being a lot of work and a lot of stuff to clean up, and a lot of packaging to throw away.

Second, orange would work better than mango, as evidenced by the ongoing popularity of TJ's own Mandarin Orange Chicken.

Third, there's virtually none of the promised chili. There's no kick, no heat--just sweetness in the sauce.

Fourth, I wish they'd make a fake-meat version either instead of or in addition to this.


Will I buy it again? 

No. For a bunch of reasons, I'd much rather have more of this.

Trader Joe's Chile Lime Chicken Burgers

This is a perennial best-seller at Trader Joe's, one of those products that people rave about and hope they never stop making. Because of that buzz, I was excited to finally try it.

I was severely disappointed. They're not bad chicken burgers, but they're nothing special. I have been able to taste nothing specifically "chile" about them, and definitely no lime. They do smell of onion while cooking, which for me is always an ominous sign, but fortunately no distinct onion flavor came through. Frankly, they were just completely boring--the work of the TJ's Blandification Committee, no doubt.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Chicken Breast Parmigiana With Marinara Sauce

I love a good chicken Parmigiana. This is not good chicken Parmigiana. The taste is as lifeless as can be.

Worse, the proportions are all wrong. The slabs of chicken breast are enormous. Some might see this as an advantage. I do not. Even on the fairly rare occasions that I eat some sort of meat these days, it doesn't take much to satisfy me. These cuts are both big across and way too thick. That means that inevitably the sauce and cheese is going to be demoted to second fiddle, rather than playing harmoniously together.

The photo shows nice, thin cuts of chicken generously coated in breading, sauce, and cheese. That's how it should be. The reality inside the package is nothing like that. The chicken is over an inch thick, the breading essentially AWOL, and the parsimonious amounts of sauce and cheese slide off the sides as soon as you heat the thing up.

Big fail, Trader Joe's.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Kettle Cooked Chicken Soup

This is a brand-new item; see Trader Joe's description of it here. $5.99 for 32 ounces.

Did not like. I have a hard time believing that there is more chicken meat than celery and onions by weight, even though that's what the package claims. It seemed to me like celery/onion/carrot soup with bits of chicken added as an afterthought. Had I known how thick this was with onion and celery, I would not have purchased it. (I don't hate celery as much as I do onion, but nothing is made better by having celery in it, and everything is made worse by having celery in it.) As it was, I ate less than a quarter of this tub before dumping the rest.

I do fully realize that my hatred of onions is a weird quirk of mine, and that as a result anything with onions as more than a tiny constituent is going to get an extremely skewed review from me. But there's not much I can do about it, other than avoiding the products that for that reason I know in advance I'll hate. After all, the only opinion I can give you is my own, no matter how biased or flawed it may be.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Chicken Breast Medallions With Coconut Red Curry Sauce

It's time for another Coconut Week! Seven days of reviews of Trader Joe's products made from or with coconut. This is Day One. 


I didn't have high hopes for this. Frankly, I had gone into Trader Joe's primarily to buy my regular keep-in-stock items, but with an eye to purchase just about anything I spied that said it had coconut in it (and didn't instantly disgust me), because I needed one more coconut item to fill out Coconut Week. This was the first such product I found, so into the basket it went.

Surprise! It's wonderful! Even just heating it in the microwave, a lovely blend of coconut and curry aromas filled the air in my apartment. I had it over some brown rice, and loved every bite of it. It's pitched at just the right degree of spiciness for my taste, which I'm sure many (most?) people would think is too mild. The coconut is prominent without being overpowering. The chicken chunks were tender and delicious. The sauce was thick enough to scoop up with some rice even without a piece of chicken--i.e., not runny at all. And it was heat-and-serve easy!

I think it's a little short of being so outstanding that it goes on my Top Ten list. But just the fact that I had to stop to ponder that question for a while is a high recommendation.

Note: The sauce apparently contains a small amount of anchovies and shrimp. I couldn't taste either one, but if you avoid these things for whatever reason, take note.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. But once again I'm held back by my desire to continue a gradual reduction in my consumption of all meats, including poultry (though I consider this less urgent than it is for beef and pork). That is going to be the limiting factor in how often I choose to take this home.

As I have said with the Southwestern Chicken Poppers and other chicken products, I really wish that TJ's would either replace the chicken with its quite good fake chicken, or make two versions: A chicken one and a vegan one (as they do for the tikka masala). Even better, the ideal solution would be to sell the coconut-curry sauce as a stand-alone item in a jar, and let people add their own preferred protein source. If they did that, I would keep one on my shelves at all times, and I think it would then crack my Top Ten list.

Are you listening, Trader Joe's?

Trader Joe's Vietnamese Inspired White Chicken Wrap With Ginger Lime Dipping Sauce

I just finished having this for my lunch. Well, "finished" isn't exactly accurate, since about 1/3 of it ended up in the garbage. Which is kind of a spoiler alert for my opinion of this product.

They include a small packet of dipping sauce, which was actually quite nice in flavor, but hard to use. I took the name "dipping sauce" literally, and poured it into a small bowl. This proved to be a mistake, because as soon as you have taken a few bites of the wrap, if you try to dip the open end into the dipping sauce, all of the ingredients tumble out into the sauce bowl. If you decide to buy one of these to try for yourself, I recommend that you just snip a corner off of the sauce packet and dribble it into the wrap a little at a time. Just pretend that there's a typographical error in the name of the product, and that this was meant to be called "ginger lime dripping sauce."

The chicken felt and tasted as if it had been injected with water to plump it up. When I was done, I checked the ingredients list on the label, and found that the "chicken" component of the wrap consisted of "chicken breast with rib meat, water, potato starch, sea salt." Which kind of confirms my impression. I reject this approach to chicken.

But the worst aspect of this wrap was how terribly bland it was. I kept thinking, "Vietnamese? The fine people of Vietnam wouldn't recognize anything this flavorless as food." But then I took one bite that was so hot that it had me dropping the wrap and grabbing for my glass of ice water. Whoever made this thing dumped all of the spices (jalapeno, cilantro, mint, garlic, and black pepper) into one tiny area, making no effort to distribute them throughout. It immediately reminded me of this epic rant written by a guy who got a burrito made all wrong.

That was the end of my tolerance, and the point at which I disposed of the remainder.


Will I buy it again? 

Not on your life.

Trader Joe's Southwestern Style Chicken Poppers

I saw reviews of this peculiar item on both of the other Trader Joe's blogs that I regularly read (see here and here), and decided they were worth a try. I made two lunches out of them, having six at a time.

Liked but did not love.

I thought they held together surprisingly well, given that the outer coating is just tortilla crumbs of three different colors. I used a fork. I found them to be two-bite propositions, not one-biters. They did not fall apart eaten this way. However, some of that may be due to the fact that I baked them longer than recommended. I have had such consistent problems with TJ's freezer-to-oven directions resulting in cold, underdone foods that I now routinely add five minutes to the longest recommended oven time. That habit may be why I got crunchier, more substantial outermost layers than others have reported.

The taste is fine, but not to die for. Sort of generically southwestern/Tex-Mex. I could not separately taste the main ingredients--chicken, jack cheese, beans, spinach, and corn. It was just a flavor mish-mash.


Will I buy it again? 

Probably not. The reason here has as much to do with my particular life situation as with the product per se. As I've mentioned frequently, I'm slowly moving to less and less meat in my diet--especially beef and pork, but also poultry. I'm not at a point of swearing off eating animals entirely. But I am at a point where I feel that each such choice should be a deliberate, conscious one, not just a habitual matter of "this is what I've always eaten." And that, in turn, means that when I decide to indulge, it at least ought to be for something I really, really enjoy. These chicken poppers do not pass that test.

Trader Joe's makes a decent chicken substitute, in both strip and nugget form. In these poppers, the chicken flavor is already so overpowered by the jalapeno peppers and other constituents that I can't clearly identify it--so why not replace it with the plant-based version? I probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference, and I'm guessing the same would be true for many others.

If TJ's did that, my answer would change from no to yes. I liked them enough to have them again if I didn't have to have a conversation with my conscience in the process.