Trader Joe's Formula No. 3 Shampoo Conditioner Body Wash

Once again, I defy you to correctly discern what is product name and what is just ancillary descriptive copy on the bottle. Maddening for a blogger who has to guess! Maybe I should include it all: Trader Joe's All For One Head To Toe Formula No. 3 Head To Toe One For All Shampoo Conditioner Body Wash.

This is a brand new Trader Joe's product. I've been using it for about five days. Normally I would go a lot longer before writing a review, but since there seems to be nothing at all about it anywhere on the web (including TJ's own site), I decided to put something up now.

This stuff is lightly scented, with what I can only describe as mixed floral. Maybe the chamomile (which I just now had to try spelling six different ways before I got it right) is a little more dominant than the others, but I found it hard to pick out anything specific. It's perfectly pleasant, not too girly. (Am I allowed to use that word?)

My main complaint about it is that it's hard to rinse off. This wasn't really surprising, because it seems inherent in trying to make something include a hair conditioner. That product category necessarily implies something that will be left behind after rinsing, and I don't think chemical wizards have yet managed to devise a compound that will be left behind after rinsing in one place but not others.

Unfortunately, I can't tell you how it works as a hair conditioner, because I don't have much left for the stuff to stick to, and what's there is only about 1/4" long. I think it's clear that I am not the target demographic for this product.

TJ's is charging $7.99 for this 32-ounce bottle. I usually don't buy body wash, but spot-checking some products on Amazon, that seems in the right ballpark.

Will I buy it again? 

No. It may be fine for those who like this sort of thing, but it's not for me.

Spindrift Seltzer Made With Fresh Squeezed Grapefruits

This is sold by Trader Joe's, though not under the store's own brand name. It showed up last week on the "new products" shelf of the Asheville store.

I liked this more than I like most such products (i.e., carbonated but unsweetened beverages). There's not much real grapefruit juice here--just that from 3/16 of one grapefruit, if the claim on the box is to be believed. But it seems to make a real difference in the flavor, while adding only 15 calories to each 12-ounce can. The taste is, as you might guess, like diluted, fizzy, grapefruit juice.

It's not as good as real grapefruit juice, of course, but for a light, bubbly summer refresher, it'll do nicely.

Will I buy it again? 

Probably not. But I'd be happy to drink it if it were offered at a party or somebody's house. It might make a nice mixer, too.

Update: I wrote that after having just one of them. I gave one to Nina, and drank the last two over the next couple of days. I liked each one better than the last, and will now change my final verdict on the "buy it again" question to yes. It's on my list for a repeat purchase next trip to TJ's.

Nina's View

It should come as no surprise that I liked this. It's not sweet. It tastes grapefruity, but very lightly so—and with a nice back-of-the-tongue bitterness brought to you probably by some grapefruit oil. Very refreshing.

As a mixer, I think it would all but disappear, as the flavoring is very low-key. It makes a great summertime non-alcoholic sipper.

Trader Joe's Key Lime Tea Cookies

This is another brand-new product from Trader Joe's; see the company's introduction here.

Not that it matters much, but I think one line in TJ's description is factually wrong: "These little rounds are premium butter cookies, infused with natural key lime flavor and dusted top to bottom with powdered sugar." That pretty clearly implies that the lime flavor is in the cookies themselves, not in the powdered-sugar coating. But I'm convinced that the opposite is true, and all of the lime flavor is mixed in with the powdered sugar, none in the cookie per se. Again--not that it matters much, since only a weirdo like me would scrape the powdered sugar off of one and taste the two parts separately in order to find out.

Anyway, I expected the lime flavor here to be pleasant but mild. Instead, it was intense. The "Eating at Joe's" blog describes it as "an outrageous blast of lime flavor in the pastry aisle," and a "shockingly big lime taste," and "nearly too much lime flavor." I can't say I disagree. What's more, they taste like real limes, not Popsicle-style "lime" flavor. I loved the first several that I ate with Nina upon first opening the package.

But after having several per day for three days now, I think I like them more as a novelty than as a staple of the portion of my diet that is cookies. The cookie inside is a bit dry and bland. After a few, when the "wow" sensation of the liminess has worn off, they seem to me just okay, not great.

One medical warning, though: Don't eat too many, or you may develop Lime Disease.

Will I buy it again? 

I'm very glad I tried them once; it was kind of mind-blowing. But as with other interesting TJ's novelty snacks, such as the Fireworks chocolate bar, I think once is enough.


Nina’s View

That whizzing sound you hear? That is the sound of these cookies rocketing past all other TJ’s cookies and heading straight to a pantheon spot in Nina’s Top Ten.

How do I love these? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.

1. Good size. You can eat six of these and not feel like an oinker.

2. Powdered sugar. Powdery but not too powdery. I feared it would get all over everything and it didn’t. Win!

3. Shortbread consistency. I like me some shortbread.

4. …????

5. KEY LIME KEY LIME KEY LIME KEY LIME.

These cookies are true to the fruit. They really and truly taste like KEY LIME and plenty of it.

Do any of you remember Lemon Coolers? As a kid, they were my favorites. I loved how you could put in them in your mouth and suck on them and get a rush of almost mentholated sugary lemoniness. Those Lemon Coolers were great, but I don’t think their lemon flavor was as natural or intense as you get from these TJ’s babies.

I think some of the most successful TJ’s products are those that highlight and intensify natural fruit flavor: see the canonized Raspberry Tarte, for example. Concentrated, unadulterated, pure fruit flavors are absolutely fantastic. More of this, please, Trader Joe’s!

I can imagine the Lime Cookies going very well with a cup of tea. It is only the satisfying intensity of the flavor that would keep me from devouring an entire tub of these at once. Bob says that familiarity is breeding discontent, for him. I may never have that problem, because I am going to buy these things once in a very, very, blue moon. I want to keep having that first-taste thrill forever.

Postscript: Knowing retailers’ penchant for discontinuing every darn item that I adore, I should probably by a dozen tubs and freeze them.

Trader Joe's Black Bean & Corn Enchilada

This is a brand-new item; see Trader Joe's introduction to it here. I swiped the photo from TJ's, too, because I picked this up on my way to Nina's for lunch, and forgot to take a picture of it before we cooked and ate it.

I'm not sure why this isn't given TJ's usual "V" vegan symbol. Looking over the list of ingredients, I see no non-vegan elements. It is certified organic, however, as indicated by the seal in the upper right corner.

I was a little worried about trying this, after noting the presence of both tofu and onions. But I was pleasantly surprised that they did not play a prominent role.

With neither meat nor cheese, this didn't seem quite like other enchiladas I've had before, but it was OK. It's mildly spiced, but seems to have tiptoed past the Trader Joe's Blandification Committee without too much damage. It needed more microwave heating than the package suggested, but that was a minor inconvenience.

Will I buy it again? 

Probably not--mainly because I'd really prefer to have some cheese and/or meat (fake would be fine for this usage), rather than all veggies. But I didn't dislike it, and if Nina served it to me for dinner someday, I'd eat it contentedly.

Nina's View

My views on frozen burritos and enchiladas and the like have been expressed before. Most of these things are easy enough to throw together that I'm almost never buying them frozen and prepared.

I'd be prepared to make an exception for these. I added a soupçon of Rooster Sauce (sriracha) to the sauce and that, I thought, made them just right. The sauce has a bit of astringent piquancy (probably the citric acid), which I particularly like. If you hadn't told me that it was tofu in there, I could easily have mistaken it for potato.

I might be tempted to put one these babies in the back of the fridge for an I'M STARVING FEED ME IMMEDIATELY emergency.

In short, not bad. Not bad at all.

Roundup

It's my weekly compilation of news and other links related to Trader Joe's.


Clean eating on a budget at Trader Joe's 

How to make a week's worth of dinners for under $25 at Trader Joe's 

Meal plans from Trader Joe's 

Best new Trader Joe's products for August 

Top 4 Trader Joe's must-buys 

The subtle joys of food packaging 

The surprising beauty purchases you should be making at Trader Joe's 

Consumer perceptions of Whole Foods and Trader Joe's 

Ten favorites from Trader Joe's 

You can watch some random person's continuous 15-minute video of a Trader Joe's shopping trip here, though frankly I can't see why you'd want to. What level of vanity makes people think that their lives are so fascinating that others will want to watch the most mind-numbing parts?

Best tweets of the week:

1. A Trader Joe's haiku:

2.

Here's this week's YouTube video from "Trader Joe":





And finally, this week's cute cats in Trader Joe's grocery bags are a pair of kitty-brothers:

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Joe-Joe's

With this post, we conclude Gluten-Free Week: 


I made my peace with the regular Joe-Joe's, after accepting that, despite appearances, they were not Oreos.

I cannot make peace with these. They are awful.

I tried. Lord knows I tried. Nina had one; I ate HALF A BOX, spread out over about six different evening snacks. I thought--hoped, even--that I could learn to like them on their own terms, without expecting them to be more. In this I failed.

The vanilla center seems unchanged from the regular version. All of the evil is in the chocolate wafers, which taste like rice cakes into which somebody has tossed a little Hershey's cocoa powder.

I haven't yet decided whether I will take the other half back to the store for a refund, or if I'd be too embarrassed to ask for a refund after eating half of a package. If the latter, I'll just throw them away.

Update: I went for the refund. That makes about 10 items that I have returned to the store for being inedible--which might sound like a lot, but remember that I have now purchased and tried about 600 different TJ's products, so it's not an unacceptable failure rate. These were, however, bad enough to be banished to my Bottom Ten list.

Will I buy it again? 

I will not eat them on a train.
I will not eat them on a plane.

I will not eat them with my bros.
I will not eat them with my hos.

I will not buy another one.
I will not have them! They're no fun!

Shortbread--or a nice Fig Newton.
No more Joe-Joe's without gluten.

Nina's View

Chocolate colored sawdust discs filled with grainy white cream. Yeah, that's the ticket. 

No.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Whole Grain Bread

We're approaching the end of Gluten-Free Week on the blog--specifically, Day 6: 



I have seen at least a dozen people on Twitter exclaim that this is the best gluten-free bread they have ever found--so I decided I should try it.

I didn't like it one little bit. First of all, like the gluten-free white sandwich bread,  the slices are inexplicably tiny. Here's how one of them looks compared to a standard slice of sourdough bread, on a standard-sized dinner plate:

So to get the equivalent of two pieces of toast, for example, you have to use four slices of this stuff. You can't make a regular sandwich--just mini-sandwiches.

Second, there's almost no flavor, and almost no texture. The bread just kind of dissolves in your mouth. I find it to be an unpleasant experience.

Maybe I would get used to it if I had a health condition that required me to abstain from gluten, but since that isn't so, I see no need to accept such compromises.

However, it did do one good thing for me: it taught me a new word. Look closely at the picture of the label, right under "Whole Grain Bread." See the last word? Teff.  WTF is teff? Turns out it's another ancient grain. Hello, Wikipedia. Maybe teff will be the next big thing at Trader Joe's, now that they have pretty much saturated everything they make with quinoa.

Will I buy it again? 

No.