Trader Joe's Fruit Jellies

I thought there was a good chance I'd like these. And I did--even more than I expected. The fruit flavors are both more intense and more natural than in most fruit-flavored candies. I can easily identify which varieties are which, as opposed to the vague, generic fruitiness of many similar candies.

These are right up there with the Gourmet Jelly Beans as the best non-chocolate candies I've found at Trader Joe's.

Will I buy them again? 

Yes--but please don't tell my dentist. I doubt she would approve of how the outside coating of granulated sugar gets ground directly into one's teeth when eating these.

Trader Joe's Organic Fruit Wrap

I'm not sure why Trader Joe's chooses to call these fruit "wraps," since their shape is such that you couldn't wrap it around much of anything. There's nothing to unroll; they're shaped like a giant stick of gum. I find this advantageous, as they're easier to eat than the kinds of fruit wraps/leather/roll-ups that are broad and thin, but it's basically the same stuff.

They're tasty and make a nice snack. As with TJ's frozen "Fruit Frenzy" bars, they serve a nice purpose when I want to snack on something that's sweet, but don't want to go for more candy (of which I have an excess in my life already). All of the flavors are about equally good; I don't find myself having any strong preferences among them.

Will I buy it again? 

Definitely. I like having a few of these on hand for when I don't have any fresh fruit to snack on.


Editorial note: 

Readers with a sharp memory may recall that I reviewed this item previously, here. If you look back, you'll see that I had just three of the five flavors shown, which is all that my local TJ's had available the first time I bought them. When I went back another time, I noticed the additional two, so I took another photo, as seen above. The way I keep track of which products I have reviewed is by moving the product picture out of the folder of pending reviews. So two different pictures means that I was cued twice to write about them. This was completely unintentional, and I had forgotten about writing the first review when I wrote this one.

I'm leaving them both up, because it shows how my subjective impression can change over time, without me even being aware that it has changed. Which I think is kind of interesting, even if it's a little bit embarrassing to have to face the fact that I'm not very consistent.

Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links related to Trader Joe's.


Six rules for line-shopping at Trader Joe's 

Top five new vegan products from Trader Joe's 

Trader Joe's announces recall of Dark Chocolate Covered Honey Grahams 

Whole Foods versus Trader Joe's: A price comparison 

Trader Joe's beats Whole Foods for serving the wealthiest customers 

Montezuma chocolates will come to the US via Trader Joe's 

Brooklyn Trader Joe's is built on top of old George Washington fort 



Best tweets of the week:

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Here's this week's YouTube video from "Trader Joe":




And finally, here's this week's cute cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag:

Trader Joe's Ciabatta Rolls

Nina bought these and used them in place of hamburger buns for a second try at the Quinoa Cowboy Veggie Burgers. I liked the flavor, and would probably like the texture in other contexts, but I thought they were a little too unyielding to serve well as burger buns.

I'll have to try them again in some other way before rendering a firm thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

Will I buy it again? 

So at this point we don't know. (That right there is a completely random, out-of-context quotation from David Mamet, "Sexual Perversity in Chicago.")


Nina's View

I like these rolls A LOT. They were not a good match up with the the Quinoa Cowboy Veggie burgers, which are exceedingly mooshy. The flavor and texture are excellent; they taste non-generic in a very nice way.

Trader Joe's Sweet Potato Bisque

This is OK, but doesn't excite me. I served one small bowl to Nina, but finished the rest myself--so it's not like I find it inedible. But if I had not know the name of the product, I don't think I would have guessed that it was supposed to be based on sweet potatoes. It tastes sort of generically vegetabley, and definitely sweet, but try as I might, I couldn't identify any specific flavor of sweet potato in it. After water, the ingredients are sweet potatoes, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, honey sugar, salt, and oils. It should taste like sweet potatoes, but it just doesn't. I can't explain it.

Will I buy it again?

No. It's mediocre. I have no place in my life for mediocre soup.

Trader Joe's Organic Sriracha Ranch Dressing

Trader Joe's own description of this brand-new product is here.

I had read the "Eating at Joe's" review of this dressing before trying it, so I was, fortunately, forewarned that "if you want to slather it on a bed of lettuce and carrots, you had better be ready for your lips to blaze with the fire of a thousand raging suns." I therefore was much more sparing in its application than I normally would have been--and issued the same warning to Nina.

But it was still way too hot. I think sriracha ranch dressing is a great idea, but with a little sriracha to liven it up, not so much that it turns eating a salad into a freakish medieval trial by ordeal.

Where, I ask, is the Trader Joe's Blandification Committee when you need it??? (That was Nina's line. I told her I was going to steal it, and I'm a man who keeps my promises.)

Look, it's not that this stuff is so hot that you physically can't eat it, but it is so hot that you taste nothing but the heat, and therefore won't want to eat it. Sure, that looks like lettuce you have it on, but it might as well be green pasteboard, because they would both equally lose any chance at having their flavors get through to your taste buds. Put another way, if you're going to have this salad dressing, you might as well skip the salad and just chug some from the bottle, because you're never going to taste the salad anyway.

Frankly, for me that makes this functionally inedible. It goes onto my Bottom Ten list, and the bottle goes back to the store for a refund.

Will I buy it again? 

If they were to reformulate it with maybe 1/10 the sriracha--maybe even as much as 1/4--yes. Otherwise, no.


Nina’s View

Whenever anyone reviews a product by saying something along the lines of “Oooo too hot, lips burning, thousand suns, ouch ouch ouch!” I think to myself: WUSS! So I was prepared to enjoy this so-called sriracha ranch with gusto.

Nopety-nope-nope.

It’s just hot and more hot and no flavor. It’s obviously not made with delicious rooster sauce, because if it were, it would be TASTY, whereas, as mentioned, this is just HOT.

Bob has it exactly right: might as well be eating shredded tax bills instead of salad. And any ranchiness there might once have been in the dressing is long since overrun by the HOT.

Away with you, useless sauce.

Trader Joe's Multigrain Bread

I liked most things about this bread: The slices are even over the length of the loaf, it tastes good, it toasts nicely.

But one thing that's wrong with it is a dealbreaker: the seeds on the outside (judging from the label, these are poppy seeds, black sesame seeds, and white sesame seeds) fall off so easily that it makes a mess. They fall off on the counter. They fall off in the toaster. They fall off on the plate and table. It's a small annoyance, perhaps, but a persistent one, happening every single time I used a slice or two of this bread.

Will I buy it again? 

No. I don't need another annoyance in my life, even a small one.