Saturday, September 27, 2014

Trader Joe's Fresh Rice Noodles



Ladies and gentlemen, this is a long-awaited moment for me. You see, there are many Trader Joe's items that I just won't ever eat, and another bunch that I would probably be happy to have, but just have not yet gotten around to trying yet. Nina has experience with many products in both categories. So ever since I started this blog, I have gently suggested that she could write reviews of these items all by herself, and I would open the blog to her.

It has finally happened--twice. Save for this introduction, today's post and tomorrow's are both entirely "Nina's View."


Nina's View 

How I wanted to like these! I really, really wanted to.

But I cannot, for alas they are DREADFUL. 

All together I bought three packets of these noodles. Each packet contains two hermetically sealed pouches with what look like desiccant packets in them (which is counterintuitive, since the noodles are moistish, but whatever).

I bought one packet, opened it and cooked the first pouch and obtained a slimy, gummy, glutinous mess.

My bad, I thought, I overcooked them! Thank goodness, there are two pouches per packet. I shall do better with the second one.

I followed instructions precisely this time.

OMG slimy, gummy, glutinous mess.

Perhaps this batch was no good, I rationalize.

I bought two more packets. I shall master this product, because I love fresh rice noodles! They have a great texture and they take sauces beautifully and there are many lovely Asian dishes that I wish to make!

Perhaps you are detecting a pattern, yes? 

Yes. 

Packet 2, pouch 1: gloppy, tasteless, unpalatable heap of whiteness.
Packet 2, pouch 2: Ditto.

I am nothing if not stubborn. I vowed that I would apply SCIENCE! I would cook swiftly and apply cold water rinse immediate to stop cooking at the precise moment!

Packet 3, Pouch 1. *ahem* AWFUL.
Packet 3, Pouch 2…

Are you kidding me?

NO. I AM NOT THAT SLOW A LEARNER. THERE WAS NO POUCH 2. I TOOK IT BACK FOR A REFUND.

Along with another product, about which more in another post. And I used the proceeds to buy more of a new favorite, about which also more in another post.

My recommendation: Do Not Buy. Run. Run far away.



9 comments:

  1. Yeah, these are an atrocity. Tried them in a soup I made with "Korean Inspired Pork Shoulder" also from Trader Joe's. The noodles were gummy and way too starchy and the pork was only "Korean inspired" if you consider inspired to mean "thrown up upon with every flavor from Korea plus way too much sugar."

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  2. Thanks for sharing. I thought it was just me. They need to pull these noodles if experienced home cooks can't make them turn out right.

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  3. I've also tried them twice now and I completely agree these are horrible. I've cooked rice noodles from a local asian foods store several times and those turned out great. These are just really disgusting and gummy. I even tried rinsing them with cold water; As much as I tried to wash out all the starch they continued to be really slimy.

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  4. Try:
    1. microwave in pack for 1-1.5 mins.
    2. separate noodles by hand
    3. add to stir fry with sauce, after the veggies are cooked

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  5. I tried these today. Yuck! Never again :(
    Slimy, starchy, goopy.
    Cooked to exact directions, rinsed in color water immediately after cooking. No Bueno!

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  6. These noodles ruined my shrimp soup-totally gloppy, horrible taste and texture!

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  7. Yup. These are just awful. I surfed on here to see if I was the only one who found them to be glops of gummy goo when cooked exactly as directed. Clearly I'm not!

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  8. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I cooked the first packet last night according to package directions. Gloppy even after rinsing in cold water, but still mostly intact. I ate half in a curry and put the other half in a container and covered with cold water. (This is what I do with any other rice noodles to keep them pliable.) Took them out the next day, drained them, and discovered they had become rice mush. They completely disintegrated when touched. I hate wasting food, so I'm going to try soaking the second packet in lukewarm water and see what happens.

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  9. Couldn't agree more. Horrible, slimy pile of gelatinous muck. Tonight was my third attempt. Has anybody figured out how to master these? Is it possible?!

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