Saturday, June 11, 2016

Trader Joe's Seeded Mango & Ginger Crisps

This is Day 14 of an extended New Products Week, and Day Five of Mangopalooza. 

The basic concept and structure of these crackers is the same as for their precursors, the Raisin Rosemary Crisps and the seasonal Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps.

These crackers, however, have a fatal flaw not shared by the other two variants: Due to the large pieces of soft, chewy ginger embedded, they are gummy in texture.

Note, first, that Trader Joe's has named these crackers "crisps." Note, next, that "crispy" is the first adjective used to describe them directly under the product name. Note, finally, that "gummy" and "crisp(y)" are incompatible descriptors. Something that is gummy cannot be crispy, and vice-versa. These crackers are gummy. They are not crispy.

It is metaphysically and morally wrong for crackers to be gummy. If the word "gummy" appears in any description of a cracker you can find, unless it is preceded by the word "not," you should not buy those crackers.

I did rather like the flavors, however. Nina suggested trying them with some sharp cheese. All I had on hand was the very first product I reviewed for this project, my first Top Ten list member, and the first TJ's product that ever caught my attention, Cheddar-Gruyere Melange. This is by no means a sharp cheese. It is, in fact, exceedingly mild. But as it was all that I had, I tried it. And I loved it. The combination of those two cheeses and the somewhat weird flavor profile of these mango-ginger crackers turned out to be fabulous.

This means that I will finish eating the contents of this box, just for how they taste with one of my favorite cheeses, in spite of the massive failure on the texture side of the ledger.

Will I buy it again? 

No. I will not support the production of gummy crackers.

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