Trader Joe's Hydroponically Grown Organic Watercress

This rather odd item showed up recently among the bagged salads in my local Trader Joe's. I bought it, even though I don't think I've ever eaten watercress and had no idea what to do with it. I figured that I could use the leaves sort of like a microgreen topping on salads--which is exactly what I did.

By themselves, the leaves have a little bit of bite to them. Nina supplied me with the perfect descriptor: astringent. But once mixed into a salad with lettuce, spinach, kale, broccoli sprouts, carrots, pine nuts, and dressing, it was awfully hard to notice that they were even there, let alone appreciate a flavor enhancement.


Will I buy it again? 

Only if some day I'm making a recipe that specifically calls for it. That hasn't happened in the first almost 56 years of my life, but never say never!

Trader Joe's Chickenless Crispy Tenders

These are entirely satisfactory--but nothing more. Gardein's fake-chicken tenders are better in both flavor and texture.


Will I buy it again? 

I might if I'm in a situation where I need it and don't feel like stopping at a second grocery store. But it's the kind of thing for which I'll generally keep a package of the better brand in the freezer all the time, so this probably won't happen often, if ever.

Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


Shopping blindfolded at Trader Joe's

Trader Joe's customer personality types

4 things you should buy at Trader Joe's, and 3 you shouldn't

5 favorite kid snacks from Trader Joe's



Best tweets of the week:

I am quite certain that there is, at the very least, a silent alarm triggered if you walk into #traderjoes not wearing yoga pants. #ATX

— Libbi (@LLLONLLL) February 22, 2017

Do I love #TraderJoes? I don't know, you tell me pic.twitter.com/oJWDcAPjot

— Tater Tot (@Crystalann617) February 21, 2017

Parking at Trader Joe's, one of a series pic.twitter.com/FSFLk3kZMm

— Luscious Dick Tacoma (@scearley) February 23, 2017

I'm not proud but this was my first real time insider #TraderJoes and I feel like my life is now forever changed pic.twitter.com/c5aSl0Smrc

— Megan Olivi (@MeganOlivi) February 25, 2017

Trader Joe's Carrot & Pea Vegetable Patties

As is often the case for TJ's frozen food products, the box suggests two alternative ways of preparing the contents: fry in oil or heat in oven.

I've tried both with these patties, and neither yields a satisfying texture; they're mushy in the middle either way.

The taste is nothing to write home about, either. It's been a while since we've heard from the Trader Joe's Blandification Committee, but this item is proof that the committee has not been disbanded.

I tried them with mango-ginger chutney. I tried them with traditional hamburger fixings. Neither was a good match. Maybe hot sauce would help?

The patties are also quite a bit smaller than most things billed as "patties." You can slap one on a hamburger bun, but it ends up looking like the diminutive beef patty in that famous Wendy's "Where's the beef?" ad:

Just about any way you look at it, this product is a big fat fail.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Golden Berry Blend

This makes for pretty good snacking material--as long as I don't think about the list of ingredients. Because if I do, I'm reminded that of the four fruits represented here, all except the raisins have been sweetened with added sugar. This is a fact that is not disclosed or even hinted at on the front of the package.

I love golden raisins, but I think I'd rather have them alone than mixed in with a bunch of sugared-up other dried fruits.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Mango Ginger Chutney

I've never bought any kind of chutney before this. In fact, if asked, I would have been able to give you only an extremely vague definition or description of what "chutney" was. I've probably eaten chutney as a condiment on something at an Indian restaurant a time or two, but I have no specific memory of it.

So my reasons for buying this were just that (1) it was on the new-products shelf, and (2) I attempt to buy virtually every new TJ's product, unless it's a food category that I don't ever eat or something I can be positive I won't like.

I had no idea what to do with the stuff. I tried it on a vegetable-patty burger, and it didn't work very well.

My next idea was better: a topping for fake chicken nuggets on a rice bed. I told Nina that this was what I'd be serving for her next dinner at my house. She came up with what proved to be the key contribution: add some lemon juice to make it into sort of a sweet-and-sour sauce.

I did, using a roughly two parts chutney to one part juice--and it was great! I seriously loved it. The mango comes through less specifically as mango and more as a general fruitiness. The ginger adds a definite bite and tingle, especially in a brief aftertaste. The lemon juice makes for a simultaneously contrasting pucker. There are some raisins scattered in the chutney for an interesting texture contrast. Overall, the combination perfectly tarted up the otherwise quite bland nuggets and rice.


Will I buy it again? 

Definitely. It's a new favorite thing in my life.

Trader Joe's Mandarin Oranges

I used to eat canned Mandarin oranges a lot when I was young--usually Three Diamond brand, I think. These from Trader Joe's seem identical to my memory of those. Maybe the syrup is a little less sweet, or maybe that's just my imagination working, as prompted by the "light syrup" on the label.


Will I buy it again? 

I doubt it. It had been at least 20 years since I had bought any canned Mandarin oranges before this. They're OK, but when I get a yen for something snacky, it's never this. But if I did suddenly develop such an urge, or needed Mandarin oranges for a recipe, these would do as well as any others.