Trader Joe's Organic Tomato Mozzarella Piccolo (Little) Pizza

I was at Trader Joe's yesterday intending to get a Woodfired Sicilian Style Pizza. I didn't find any. Maybe that item has been discontinued. But while looking for it, I spotted this, which is apparently so new that there is nothing about it online, from Trader Joe's or from anybody else.

The box says it serves two, but I thought it looked a little small for that, so I bought two of them, since I was having Nina over for dinner. I was right. One of these would not have been enough for both of us. But two of them was too much; we both left about 1/3 uneaten. So they're an awkward size. The side of the box promises, "just the right size." This is mistaken.

Nina and I shared roughly the same general impression: The toppings are lovely, and the tomatoes in particular survived the freezing and reheating process surprisingly well. But the crust is too thick, dry, and bready.

For once, the bake time suggested on the package (10-12 minutes at 425 degrees; I used the full 12) worked just fine.

To add a little zip and protein, I had browned some thinly sliced Italian Sausage-less Sausage beforehand and added it to the top of the pizzas before putting them in the oven. This turned out very nicely, and I recommend such an enhancement if you're going to try this item.


Will I buy it again? 

Probably. But a thin-crust version would be better and an enthusiastic yes.

Trader Joe's Broccoli & Kale Pizza Crust

"I don't think that ever in the history of pizza has anybody said, 'What I need is broccoli and kale in my pizza crust.'"

So said Nina last night after trying a few bites of this. I had made a pizza with this crust, TJ's Fat Free Pizza Sauce, TJ's Shredded Mozzarella Cheese, and my favorite fake chicken strips, from Beyond Meat.

In that configuration, I found that the corn flour of the pizza crust came through more than the broccoli and kale, but I could taste those portions if I cut off a little piece of the crust and ate it without the toppings.

Physically, the crust held up well, with no significant sogginess.

Because of a long history of TJ's frozen foods requiring longer in the oven than specified on the package, I maxed out the baking times from the ranges suggested in the directions. Here's my advice: Don't do that. I seriously overcooked it, and we had burnt edges all around. Go with the minimum suggested times.


Will I buy it again? 

A week ago, I didn't know that broccoli & kale pizza crust existed, and had never even imagined that it could exist. I would be happy to subject myself to the memory-erasing flasher thing from "Men In Black" and return to that state of blissful ignorance.


via GIPHY

In other words, no.

If you want or need a gluten-free pizza crust, TJ's own cauliflower-based one is better. It's both more neutral in flavor, and, well, not green. Pizza crust should not be green.

Trader Joe's Fat Free Pizza Sauce

This was perfectly decent pizza sauce--right up the middle of what you'd expect, with no surprises. Not too sweet, not too salty, not too spicy, not too chunky. It's been a couple of years since I had Trader Joe's refrigerated pizza sauce, but my memory of it is about the same this stuff, and this has the added advantage of shelf stability. I'd kind of like to try them side by side, but I never make enough pizza to justify having both open at one, as about half of each would end up wasted.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes.

Trader Joe's Sprouted Whole Grain Pizza Crust

I've never before encountered pre-made pizza crusts for sale without being frozen or refrigerated. It seems...odd.

The package contains two crusts. I've made pizzas with both of them now. The first time, I used the minimum bake time recommended on the wrapper: 10 minutes. That had the cheese topping done just right. But the crust was underdone, good around the edges, but the center still too soft. The second time, I went for the maximum time recommended: 15 minutes. (I was using a genuine pizza stone in the oven both times.) That did better for the crust, but now the cheese was overcooked.

These crusts had a pleasant flavor, but that was outweighed by two fatal flaws. First, there is no raised edge, so you have to be super careful about keeping the sauce and other toppings away from the edge to avoid spillover. Second, the "sprouted whole grains" include wheat berries and rye berries. (See the full ingredients list and other info in the Trader Joe's introduction to this new product here.) These are hard kernels, and I found it majorly unpleasant to encounter those unyielding nuggets between my teeth.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Organic Spinach & Ricotta Pizza

The thin crust on this pizza was quite nice--crisp and tasty. But the toppings were a disappointment. The spinach was tough and the ricotta cheese basically tasteless lumps of fat.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Cheese Pizza With A Cauliflower Crust

This frozen pizza is surprising because it's not terrible. The crust is actually kind of an amazing wonder of modern food technology: made of cauliflower, but not dominated by a cauliflower taste, and with a completely normal--even commendable--thin-crust-pizza texture. Nina and I both thought that the cheese and tomato sauce were acceptable, but nothing to brag about. That crust, though, has a lot of potential.


Will I buy it again? 

No. But it's easily the best gluten-free frozen pizza I've had, and I'd readily recommend it to somebody who needed to keep gluten-free.

Trader Joe's Par-Baked Organic Pizza Crusts

So far I've had just one of the two crusts that came in this package. The flavor was fine. The size was just right to serve two of us.

I was mildly irked that it did not have the raised edge shown in the photo, so it was basically impossible to keep the sauce from running off of one side while the pizza baked. I shorted the baking time by two minutes because I could see that the cheese was completely melted and starting to burn. This caused the crust to come out a little underdone and doughy. For the second one, I think I might try baking the crust alone for a few minutes before adding the toppings.


Will I buy it again? 

Probably. We'll see how the second one goes, but I think there's potential for a good, useful product here. It's sure a lot easier than the pizza dough we tried once before.

Addendum 

I used the second one a week later. I tried baking it for four minutes, then pulling it out to put on the toppings. But the result wasn't really any better, perhaps because this time I had failed to let it thaw beforehand. So the quest for the formula for perfect doneness continues.

Trader Joe's Cauliflower Pizza Crust

People have been going gaga over this item since it first hit the Trader Joe's shelves a couple of months ago. It sells out everywhere about as fast as they get it in. I've seen the space for it in my local store's freezer case, but it had always been empty until about two weeks ago, when I was finally able to nab one.

The cooking directions are a little peculiar: 450 degrees for 10-12 minutes on one side, then flip it over and repeat, then add toppings and cook for an additional 5-8 minutes. I did it, using TJ's excellent pizza sauce, TJ's organic mozzarella shreds, and Morning Star fake bacon pieces. The result was one of the best homemade pizzas of my life.

Surprisingly, the crust was almost completely neutral in flavor, not nearly as distinctly cauliflower as I had assumed it would be. It basically served as a physical vehicle for the toppings, rather than as a key ingredient in its own right. I'm going to try the same toppings with a more standard crust soon, and I suspect the result will be even better.


Will I buy it again? 

No, not unless some occasion arises in which I will need to make pizza for guests who are avoiding carbs and/or gluten. Those are really the only reasons one would pick this over a traditional crust, and since neither applies to me, I don't have any need for this special product. But if I did, I'd be happy to have it available.

Trader Joe's Pepperoni Pizza Mac & Cheese Bowl

There are a lot of inventions that seem so obvious, as soon as you've seen or heard of them, that you can't believe the world was ever without them. The wheel. The abacus. The printing press. A mashup of pepperoni pizza and macaroni and cheese.

What--you've never heard of the last one? Well, now you have. And your life will never be the same. Not only will you eat this and like it, you'll spend the remainder of your mortal years kicking yourself for not being the one to think of it first.

Look, this isn't complicated. Do you like mac & cheese? Do you like pepperoni pizza? If the answer to both of those is "yes," then you'll like this. Period.

My only quibble is, once again, with TJ's claimed portion size. Two servings? Puh-LEEZ! If you can't snarf down this whole thing yourself, then you don't like it enough to bother buying it. And, frankly, I'd have to question whether you deserve to be eating it.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes, but with the giant caveat that you can see coming from a mile away if you're a regular reader. I don't want beef and pork in my diet, at least not in more than tiny quantities. I would be even more enthusiastic about this product, and would buy it ten times as often, if they made it (or a second, alternative version) with a fake-meat pepperoni. As it is, it's so tasty that I'm compelled to add it to my Top Ten list, but actual purchases are going to be rare.

Trader Joe's Spizzico Di Pizza

This is a box of 12 tiny pizzas. Well, that's the claim, anyway. Mine had only 11. Maybe Trader Joe's hates me.

They're what I suppose you would call appetizer size--about three inches across.

Frankly, they're not very good. Dry crust. Too much oregano, but otherwise mostly flavorless. Compared to the lovely photo on the box, they were far more misshapen and thinly layered in sauce and cheese.


Will I buy it again? 

No. Other than the possible situational convenience of having individual pizza-ish things this size, I see no reason to pick this over any of the really good pizzas that TJ's sells.

Trader Joe's Bambino Pizza Formaggio

As far as I can tell, this is identical to the Bambino Pepperoni pizzas, except with no pepperoni. I like it a little bit less than that product, but it's pretty good.


Will I buy it again? 

Probably not, simply because I would always choose the pepperoni version instead. Pepperoni on pizza will probably be the last vestige of beef/pork products to be eliminated from my diet, because of yumminess.

Trader Joe's Pizza Al Pollo Asado

It seems strange to use both the "Mexican food" and "pizza" tags simultaneously. But I think I must, because this thing is labeled as a "pizza," but is about as un-Italian as possible. It's a masa corn-flour base with refried beans, salsa, and chunks of chicken breast on top. When baking, it smells just like tortillas frying.

As is so often the case with TJ's frozen foods, it took significantly longer to heat properly than the 10-15 minutes at 400 degrees that the box advised. It was barely warm after 15 minutes, so I gave it another 5, and then it was OK, but still needed a bit more.

It was OK overall, but nothing special. If I'm going to be eating something that is basically a tostada, well, I would rather make my own, as described here. They're not only a mainstay of my diet, but one of my favorite things to eat. Trader Joe's should freeze and sell those instead of this boring little thing.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Bambino Pepperoni Pizza

Nothing complicated or mysterious here. The box contains four small pizzas. Two at a time are just the right amount for one person.

This is better-than-average frozen pepperoni pizza. The sauce is the real star: tangy, and lots of it.

I also like the fact that they're small enough to fit two inside my toaster oven, which means that I can skip the warm-up time, energy costs, and house-heating effect of using the big oven.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. I like.

Trader Joe's Tarte Au Brie Et Aux Tomates (A Very French Thin Crust With Brie And Tomatoes)

I was alerted to the existence of this product by an article in a recent Fearless Flyer. It's sorta pizza, but also sorta not: I can pretty much guarantee that it's the thinnest pizza crust you've ever had, and the brie cheese is obviously not exactly your standard pizza topping.

Still, it's quite good. Sadly, ours was undercooked, despite getting the full recommended 10 minutes at a true 450 degrees (verified, as always, with an oven thermometer); the center of the crust was limp and soggy. I liked it anyway. The braided edge of the crust is a nice touch.


Will I buy it again? 

Probably not. It's tasty, but loaded with fat: One serving (half of the pizza) has 50% of the recommended daily allowance of saturated fat. That's a bit much for me to make a habit of.

Trader Joe's Arugula Pizza

For frozen pizza, this is pretty good. The crust is crispy, flavorful sauce, nice balance of toppings. I have no complaints. Nina and I tried it with half of it sprinkled with a non-TJ's spicy fake ground beef, which made it even better.


Will I buy it again? 

TJ's has lots of frozen pizzas that I would like to try, but yes, I think that sooner or later I'll get back to this one.

Trader Joe's Wood Fired Naples Style Uncured Pepperoni Pizza

This is a brand-new item at Trader Joe's; see the company's introduction to it here. $4.99.

I loved this. It's right up there with this one as my favorite pizzas from Trader Joe's, and definitely better than my previous go-to choice, the Deep Dish Pepperoni.

This is the point in the review at which I'm supposed to tell you exactly why it was outstanding. I can't. A few times while eating it I thought, "I should slow down and figure out exactly what tastes so good here. The crust? The sauce? The cheese? The pepperoni?" But then that thought would pass as quickly as it came, and I resumed making it disappear as fast as I could shove it in my face. As a result, I'm left with the inarticulate but firm opinion that this is about as good as frozen pizza gets.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes, although here I run into the problem of my desire to have very little beef and pork in my diet. I can tell myself that there's such tiny amounts of pork here that it makes no meaningful difference--unlike eating, say, bacon or pork chops. But that's obviously more rationalization than rational. We'll see how it plays out over time. Maybe I'll make the sacrifice to go with only meatless pizzas. But when and if it's pepperoni, this is to be the choice.

Trader Joe's Organic Woodfired Sicilian Style Pizza

Someday I would like to have a chat with the people at Trader Joe's who decide on the final versions of product names. Here, for instance, I would have gone with "wood-fired" instead of "woodfired," and I also would have used a hyphen for "Sicilian-style." But they didn't ask me.

That aside, this might be the best frozen pizza I've yet tried from TJ's. The crust is the first thing I noticed that set it apart. Its taste and texture is such that I can actually believe it was wood-fired. There is even a bit of wood char on the bottom.

The toppings were not particularly evenly distributed, but I liked them anyway. The sauce is unusually spicy, which was a pleasant surprise, and different from other TJ's pizzas.

As an added bonus, the cooking instructions seemed to make it come out just right, a matter which is a frequent problem in other TJ's frozen products.

I suppose my biggest complaint is that it's smaller than most frozen pizzas. It was enough for two of us, given a couple of side dishes, but just barely. I wish they would add two inches to its diameter.

Will I buy it again? 

Yes. It's a solid contender for being one of the best frozen pizzas I've had from any manufacturer.

Trader Joe's Burrata, Prosciutto & Arugula Flatbread

Brand-new product. See Trader Joe's description here.

This is a nice pizza--sufficiently different from your average frozen pizza that it's worth a try. The flatbread makes for a thicker and chewier crust than is typical, and the cheese--burrata, which was a new word for me--is unusually creamy. What's most different, however, is using prosciutto instead of pepperoni or sausage or Canadian bacon.

That, however, also leads to the biggest annoyance. The prosciutto comes in a separate inner wrapping, and you have to separate the three super-thin layers, cut or tear them into pieces, and distribute them on the pizza yourself. (The package directions say to put the meat on after baking. The web site says either before or after works.) Kind of a pain, compared to standard frozen pizzas.

I have a gripe about the serving size, too. The label claims three servings here. I had the whole thing, with a salad, for a lunch, and didn't feel that I overate. I'm 5'7" and weigh 148 pounds--not exactly what you'd call a giant. Draw your own conclusions about feeding three people with this thing.

Will I buy it again? 

No. It was good, and interesting once, but not something I want to make a staple. Part of that is the my growing unease with using adorable, intelligent piggies as food. But just as much was the overall different-ness of this compared to what decades of experience have led me to expect from frozen pizza. Writing this blog has given me many opportunities to discover that new-and-different sometimes means better than anticipated, with new favorites displacing lifetime habits. But this is not one of those revelatory moments.

Trader Joe's Deep Dish Pepperoni Pizza

This is pretty good pizza. The crust is crispy on the outside, bread-like on the inside. It's exceptionally generous with the pepperoni. It's one of the thickest crusts I've ever had in a frozen pizza.

It really needs several more minutes of baking time than the package indicates, but that's easily fixed.

My main grip about it is that it's an awkward size. If I eat half of it for my lunch, it feels like not enough, but if I eat a whole one, I'm overly stuffed and uncomfortable. With most frozen pizzas, I find that half is exactly the right amount. Not so here.

Will I buy it again? 

Yes. In fact, this is my third one, having gone through two of them in the months before I decided to start blogging about TJ's food. They have been very consistent.

Trader Joe's 5 Cheese Frusta

These are basically strangely shaped individual cheese pizzas. I bought two (one for Nina, one for me) mainly because I was curious why anyone would make and sell pizzas that were folded into this odd shape. I still don't get it.

The obvious downside is that if you want to add your own toppings, as I did, the fold reduces the available surface area. I had a fake ground beef to increase the protein content of the meal, and it was difficult to stuff it onto the small amount of open cheese.

I didn't mind the taste overall, though the tomato sauce was unusually sweet. But I just couldn't get past the peculiar shape. Oh, and the shape also adversely affected the cooking: where the crust is doubled, it didn't bake all the way through, and was still cold in spots, despite having followed the heating directions to the letter.

Will I buy it again? 

No. Pizzas are supposed to be flat, dammit.

Nina's View

I am only writing this because I want to say how frusta-rating this product was. The premise seemed good, but I'd like to know who the heck in Italy hand-made this and why he or she was persuaded that it was worth eating the frustas of their labor.

It is not good. Overly sweet. Soggy crust, uninspired topping. No no no. Back to Italia with you, misbegotten frusta!