Trader Joe's Kale Gnocchi

As I sat down to write this, I discovered that I had failed to take a picture of the package when I brought it home. I could fish the empty bag out of the garbage, but I decided it was better to steal the above photo from Trader Joe's web page introducing the product, here.

The good news: Simple sauteeing, as the package recommends, makes these things turn out fine, which was not the case with the cauliflower gnocchi (see the addendum at the end of that review).

The bad news: They taste like gnocchi rolled with lawn clippings. However, that becomes ignorable with a little dressing up. I served them with sliced, browned Sausage-less Sausage and Autumnal Harvest Creamy Pasta Sauce. That combination made the grassiness fade far into the background.


Will I buy it again? 

No. I'll finish the leftovers for my lunch today, but I think that will be plenty of that.

Trader Joe's Mashed Potatoes

This product has apparently been around for years, but I somehow never noticed it until just before Thanksgiving.

Preparation is simple. You count out nuggets from the bag according to how much you want, heat them in a saucepan with a little added liquid. I used some leftover TJ's vegetable broth, which worked well and added a nice bit of complementary flavor. It's easier than the already-easy mixing up of mashed potatoes from dry flakes in a box. Not to mention, y'know, mashing actual potatoes (which--confession--I've never done in my life).

Flavor and texture were both good. I tried them with vegan gravy once, and with just plain butter once, and liked them both ways.

The bag says that it contains seven servings. I think it's closer to four. The recommended 20 nuggets for two people was not enough. I would use about 50% more than the directions suggest.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes.

Trader Joe's Savory Corn Pie

I liked this a lot. It's peppery, cheesy corn. I fail to see how anybody could not like it.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. It's not obviously seasonal, but it came out just before Thanksgiving, and many TJ's side dishes with that timing are gone after Christmas. So I may not get another chance at it anytime soon, but if I do, I'll pick up another one.

Dujardin Root Vegetable Fries

I found these veggie fries at Trader Joe's while Thanksgiving shopping. They seem like a very Trader Joe's sort of thing, though not branded as such. Perhaps they're on "audition," and will come back with a TJ's label if they sell well.

It's one of the rare frozen-to-oven items from TJ's that requires less time than the label says (28-30 minutes). Unfortunately, because of my previous experiences, I had just set the timer for the full 30 minutes, and didn't check along the way. I also missed, until it was too late, the last sentence in the cooking directions about flipping them over halfway through. Oops. The net result was that maybe 10% were burned past usability, another 20% were edible but more charred than one would really want, and nearly all of them showed signs of being cooked much more on one side than the other. My bad.

In spite of that, they were surprisingly good, though very bland--needed salt. (Or so I thought. Nina ate hers without, and never reached for the shaker.) But tasty. My hunch is that if you have kids who love to eat French fries, but won't eat standard veggies, this presentation would change their minds. You wouldn't even have to tell them they're not potatoes.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. I want to try it again at least once to get the preparation right. After that, who knows? But since I liked them even overdone, why wouldn't I like them done correctly?

Trader Joe's Cornbread Bites

Loved these. Loved both the flavor and texture. Loved each component: cornbread, cheese, peppers.


Will I buy it again? 

Enthusiastically. They might even be a Top Ten candidate, but I'm going to try another round of them before I decide.

Regular readers might notice that this is three reviews in a row with a strong thumbs-up. How often has that happened?

Trader Joe's Cauliflower Tot Casserole

Tater tots--except made from riced cauliflower instead of taters, so lower carb numbers--with a white sauce and gooey cheese. What's not to love? Very comfort-foody.

Because I had time while other things were cooking, I did the oven method instead of microwave. As seems to always be the case with TJ's frozen-to-oven products, it required about 10 minutes more than the package directs. Due to that, I didn't apply the optional additional 2-3 minutes of broiler time to get the promised "golden brown top," but I will next time because it definitely would have been better that way.

Nitpicking: The tots at the edges, where the cheese and sauce didn't quite reach, maintained their integrity. But most of the rest couldn't stand up to the cheese and sauce and became sort of an indistinguishable mash. It didn't affect the taste at all, but it would have been more texturally satisfying if they had enough crispiness to remain distinct tots.

Claimed serving size of 3 is about right. Nina and I had it as a side dish to some chili last night, and about 1/3 of it was left for my lunch today.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. It's already on my Thanksgiving dinner shopping list.

Trader Joe's Linguine With Pesto & Tomatoes

I used the microwave heating method: 7 minutes, with a stir in the middle. Super easy, and came out just right. I separately browned some fake Italian sausage and added it just before serving. I recommend this embellishment.

It was much, much skimpier on tomatoes than the package depicts, and would be improved if the product actually matched the photo.

It was perfectly fine. I'm just not a big fan of pesto for pasta. I want my sauce.

Nina liked it more than I did, calling it "very tasty." She said it's something she might keep in the freezer for those occasions when one is feeling both hungry and lazy.


Will I buy it again? 

No. But if I see it on my plate at a dinner at Nina's, I will be neither surprised nor disappointed.

Trader Joe's Lemongrass Chicken Stix

I was torn about buying these, because it really doesn't make sense for me to keep reviewing chicken products when my conclusion is always going to be that I won't buy them again because I almost never buy chicken products. Maybe I'll stop after this.

Anyway, I heated these in the oven, not with the alternative "deep fry" method. Based on long, unhappy experience with TJ's freezer-to-oven products, I left them in for 15 minutes instead of the recommended 10-12, and was probably correct to do so. They came out just right. The wrapping was crispy but not burned, and the inside was hot all the way through.

I liked the texture. The flavor, not so much. It was very hard to taste anything except lemongrass, cabbage, and green onion. I assume there was some chicken in there somewhere, but if I had been tasting these blindfolded, I would have guessed they were vegetarian.

The portion size seems to assume they're just being used as an appetizer. It says serving size is two rolls, with five servings in the box. (But I was given nine rolls, not ten. Highway robbery!) And I ate five rolls for one lunch, along with a side of fresh veggies and a salad. Plan accordingly.

I threw away the remaining four. I just didn't care for them at all.


Will I buy it again? 

No. And I wouldn't even if chicken were still one of my staple dietary items.

Trader Joe's Chicken Chilaquiles Rojo

As regular readers know, I hate onions. I can tolerate them in small amounts, but what's in this package can in no way be deemed "small amounts." I ripped open the top, looked down inside, and saw a ton of chopped onion pieces. Ugh. I managed to fish out most of them before I started cooking, but I won't want to do that again.

Other than that, I did generally like the flavors here, and the tortilla chips made for a satisfying, crunchy textural contrast.

The package claims that this makes 2 1/2 servings. Uh, no. I'm not a big guy, but I ate the whole thing (minus onions, of course) for my lunch--along with some cooked veggies and a salad. It was a little more than I would have considered the ideal amount, but certainly not enough for two servings, let alone 2 1/2. Did they test the serving size on 8-year-old children?


Will I buy it again? 

No. First, onions. Second, basically the only time I buy grocery products with chicken is when I'm trying them for this blog. Otherwise, I'm happier sticking with plant-based fake meat products. If this were reformulated with about one-tenth the onions and with a meat substitute, then I would readily purchase it again--but I don't see that happening.

Trader Joe's Organic Tomato Mozzarella Piccolo (Little) Pizza

I was at Trader Joe's yesterday intending to get a Woodfired Sicilian Style Pizza. I didn't find any. Maybe that item has been discontinued. But while looking for it, I spotted this, which is apparently so new that there is nothing about it online, from Trader Joe's or from anybody else.

The box says it serves two, but I thought it looked a little small for that, so I bought two of them, since I was having Nina over for dinner. I was right. One of these would not have been enough for both of us. But two of them was too much; we both left about 1/3 uneaten. So they're an awkward size. The side of the box promises, "just the right size." This is mistaken.

Nina and I shared roughly the same general impression: The toppings are lovely, and the tomatoes in particular survived the freezing and reheating process surprisingly well. But the crust is too thick, dry, and bready.

For once, the bake time suggested on the package (10-12 minutes at 425 degrees; I used the full 12) worked just fine.

To add a little zip and protein, I had browned some thinly sliced Italian Sausage-less Sausage beforehand and added it to the top of the pizzas before putting them in the oven. This turned out very nicely, and I recommend such an enhancement if you're going to try this item.


Will I buy it again? 

Probably. But a thin-crust version would be better and an enthusiastic yes.

Trader Joe's Black Bean & Cheese Taquitos

Back in 2015, I reviewed a similar product, though it included the word "handcrafted" in the name. In 2017, I added a note saying that I had tried them again, and liked them more than I had described the first time. Apparently that product disappeared and has now been replaced by this one. See the company's introduction to it here.

It is a turn for the worse. These are, frankly, terrible. They have been thoroughly trashed by the Trader Joe's Blandification Committee. There is zero evidence of cheese, other than the package's claims; it can be neither seen nor tasted. The filling is just a mushy black-bean paste, a substantial portion of which oozes out when they're heated.


Will I buy it again? 

No. Trader Joe's has replaced a good product with a bad one, and it's incomprehensible to me. Nina shared these taquitos with me, and agrees.

Trader Joe's Shakshuka Starter

I had never heard of shakshuka until Trader Joe's came out with this product. From Wikipedia: "Shakshouka (Arabic: شكشوكة‎, also spelled shakshuka or chakchouka) is a dish of eggs poached in a sauce of tomatoes, chili peppers and garlic, and commonly spiced with cumin, paprika, cayenne pepper and nutmeg. Although the dish has existed in Mediterranean and Middle Eastern regions, its more recent egg and vegetable-based form originated in the Maghreb region of North Africa (Libya, Algeria, Morocco, Tunisia)." See Trader Joe's description of the product here.

The directions say to microwave it for a while, then use a spoon to make two indentations in the top into which you break two eggs (not included). But it was soupy enough that the indentations couldn't retain their shape, and the eggs ended up just kind of layered across the top. That didn't really matter; it looked kinda funny, but still tasted good.

I liked it. Just the right amount of spiciness to be interesting, not too much onion or garlic for me. The quantity was awkward--a little much for one person, yet wouldn't have been enough for two.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. I wouldn't call it a new favorite, but it will make a nice occasional change-up from my usual home menu. Nina liked it, too--maybe even more than I did.

Trader Joe's Spicy Salmon Gyoza

Perhaps the best consequence of writing this blog is that I buy and try something that I never would otherwise, just because I've decided to sample everything TJ's puts out that isn't in my "automatically will hate" category--and every once in a while I'm hit with the happy surprise of liking something unexpectedly. This is one of those occasions.

I don't mind salmon, but it's rarely what I'll choose from a restaurant menu, and never what I'll choose to make for myself. So I felt about 95% confident that my reaction to spicy salmon gyoza would be somewhere between "meh" and "ick." But no! I liked them--a lot.

Now, perversely, this may be because the addition of a vegetable mash and a lot of spices makes the salmon less distinctively salmon. That was basically why Nina's reaction to these was much less favorable than mine; she felt that salmon is delicate, and can't stand up to a lot of tampering. (She also voiced a suspicion that they use low-quality salmon here, because who would take good salmon and make it so that it's hard to taste?) But for me, that's a feature, not a bug. I think they've nailed a nice blend that causes the salmon to shine like the soloist in a concerto, supported by an orchestra, rather than standing on the stage alone.

The first time I made these, I used the microwave method, even though I suspected that it was suboptimal. It was fast and easy, but the pastry pouches were kinda mushy. When I prepared the last third or so of the bag for myself for a lunch the next day, I used the pan-fry instructions. This involved more time and work, but the texture ended up much nicer.


Will I buy it again? 

Definitely. It's a surprise new favorite.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Blondies

Frozen treats, with no baking or other heating needed--just thaw either at room temperature or in the refrigerator.

I'm not a fan. The peanut butter to strawberry ratio is much too high. They need at least double the strawberry filling to set this right.

Nina liked them a lot: the variety of textures in every bite, the mix of salt and sweet (but not too sweet). But she agreed that they'd be better with more strawberry.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Egg Frittata With Swiss Cheese & Cauliflower

From the font of all knowledge: "Frittata is an egg-based Italian dish similar to an omelette or crustless quiche or scrambled eggs, enriched with additional ingredients such as meats, cheeses or vegetables. The word frittata is Italian and roughly translates to 'fried.'"

Last night while eating these, I commented to Nina, "It's like a little quiche with no crust." So I guess I had it about right.

The package suggests heating by either microwave or oven. I used a toaster oven, which worked great. They ended up having a nice texture, which I fear might be compromised with the microwave. The box says 15 minutes at 425 degrees. Based on long experience with TJ's frozen foods, I gave them 20 minutes, and they turned out perfect.

After egg, the dominant flavor is the onions and chives. You know how I feel about that. I had to mentally search to detect Swiss cheesiness. The cauliflower seems to contribute mostly some textural firmness, with the flavor totally MIA.


Will I buy it again? 

No. I ate my two, and didn't much object to them, but I couldn't find any love. Nina admired the nice texture, but said she wasn't wowed by the taste.

Trader Joe's Creamy Polenta With Spinach & Carrots

This had been languishing in my freezer for a long, long time before I rediscovered it recently and cooked it up as a side dish for a dinner with Nina. (Nothing but the best for my honey!) How long? I looked for a "best by" date on the package, but couldn't find one. However, the metadata on this photo says August 6, 2017, so about 19 months. This undoubtedly explains why it came out of the bag in a big block of ice. It was...not ideal.

It was still decent, but I just didn't love the heavy spinach component. And the carrot portion of the program seemed nearly missing in action. It created a weird imbalance, at least compared to the expectations I had in mind from the product name and package photo.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Vegan Jackfruit Cakes

Nina bought and served these recently. They're supposed to resemble crabcakes. I wouldn't know, since I've never eaten crabcakes. But I got no sense of anything seafoodish about them.

We each had two. I finished one, started on the second, but just couldn't. For some reason, the second one gave me a much bigger jolt of onion than the first one had. I don't think Nina even finished her first one.


Will I buy it again? 

No. Complete fail.

Trader Joe's Outside-In Stuffed Gnocchi

Nina found this and cooked it up for our dinner last night. Sorry for the dodgy pictures; she forgot to give me a chance to photograph the package before ripping it open.

This is a new product. TJ's introduction to it is here.

The basic idea is gnocchi filled with the two things that you might most commonly put on top of them: pasta sauce and cheese. It's a great idea. As soon as I saw the wrapper, I thought I was going to love them. Nope. I found them disappointingly bland. Unremarkable gnocchi shells with a vague smear of tomato and cheese inside. Dull as all get-out. I think they should make the sauce zestier, like TJ's own arrabiata sauce. Anything with a little more zing to it. And more cheese.

So: Excellent concept, poor execution.

Nina, conversely, didn't have a lot of hope for them, but felt pleasantly surprised. Go figure.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Blushing Apple Tart

I had never heard of "blushing apples" before encountering this new Trader Joe's dessert.

Nina prepared this. Unlike most TJ's frozen products, the recommended bake time on this one proved to be a little long, as you can see from the slightly overdone edge. (That second photo is half of what's in the box, by the way. It's supposed to make three servings, but Nina and I just split it between us, and had no difficulty putting it away.)

I thought the almond paste might be a deterrent, as I don't love almonds. But it turned out to be just a pleasant background sweetness, with little actual almond flavor. Somehow, the combination of the paste and the apples combined to remind me of maraschino cherries. I asked Nina if I was crazy for thinking that, and she instantly answered, "Yes." So it may not be a universal impression.

The crust was somewhat dry. It's not clear whether that's an intrinsic property, or due to the slight overbaking. Tasty, though.

The apples are excellent.

The thing looks like a pepperoni pizza. Even after you realize that, yes, the flesh of these apples is pink and those aren't slices of meat, it looks like an apple pizza. OK, a square apple pizza.


Will I buy it again? 

Close call. I don't think I loved it enough to bring home again for myself. But if it showed up again at Nina's, I'd happily eat my half again. And it would make a nice contribution to a potluck dinner.

Trader Joe's Malabari Paratha

This is a new item; see Trader Joe's introduction to it here.

The directions are to heat it from frozen on the stove in a lightly oiled pan, adding a bit of browning. I did this, then served it topped with a mixture of Yellow Tadka Dal (which I said I wouldn't buy again, but then forgot) and some fake meat. The result wasn't one of my best culinary creations; it was all kind of dull-looking and dull-tasting.

The TJ's web page explains the difference between paratha and naan, but I sure wouldn't be able to tell which one I was eating if you put one of them in front of me, except perhaps by the spiral pattern on the paratha. Nina said that the paratha wasn't as puffy as they're supposed to be. I wouldn't know, having never ever heard of it before, let alone eaten it.


Will I buy it again? 

No. As a carb base for protein and veggies, I prefer rice or some form of noodles, and I don't think it's good enough to have by itself on the side. It's not that it's a bad product; I just don't see a role for it in my eating.