Trader Joe's Everything But The Elote Seasoning Blend

I have now tried this in four different ways:

1. On buttered corn on the cob. This is its primary intended purpose. The label suggests that adding mayo further recreates the street elote experience. I didn't do that. I think mayo on corn sounds gross. But this seasoning mix on corn was great--loved it. It's the only thing I've ever found that makes corn on the cob better than just butter (with or without salt).

2. On buttered toast, instead of cinnamon-sugar. Meh. Seemed odd and out of place.

3. On popcorn. Judging by my monitoring of the #TraderJoes hashtag on Twitter, this is the second most popular use. It was good, but I didn't think it was better than just butter and salt, which is my standard preparation. Unexpectedly, it lent a distinct tone of sweetness to the popcorn. It was so prominent that it prompted me to look for the first time at the ingredients. Sure enough--"cane sugar" is first on the list. I did not notice that sweetness in any of the other three applications, for reasons that I can't explain.

4. On steamed mixed veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots). As with toast, the flavors didn't blend right, and it seemed clashing. Not terrible, but not enhancing, either.


Will I buy it again? 

No. The only use for which I want to keep it around is corn on the cob. And I eat that rarely enough (3-4 times a year, I guess) that this one shaker should last me nearly until the heat death of the universe. But it's definitely good in that context, and well worth a try.

Trader Joe's Organic Savory Vegan Gravy

What do you get when you combine water, onions, tamari soy sauce, coconut milk, and starch? If you ask Trader Joe's, the answer is "Savory Vegan Gravy." If you ask me, the answer is "Weird glop that looks like gravy but doesn't taste like it."

Of course, there's a lot more in there than those five ingredients, but they head the list. I suspect the it was something in the combination of onions and tamari that threw the whole thing off for me. I found it actually unpleasant to eat. Nina thought it was unexciting, but fine.


Will I buy it again? 


via GIPHY

Trader Joe's Organic Spicy Taco Sauce

I have been making lots and lots of tacos since I discovered how much I like Trader Joe's Taco Seasoning Mix. I was skeptical that a taco sauce would improve on what I thought was the perfect formulation.

I was wrong. It makes my tacos even better.

The prescribed amount of taco seasoning mix is 1/2 packet per pound of ground beef. (I use Gardein's Beefless Ground.) For my first experiment, I used only half of that, in order to make the tacos deliberately bland. As such, the taco sauce definitely spiced things up. No surprise.

But then I tried it on the regular-strength filling--and to my surprise, even that was improved. I've come to agree with Nina's observation that it's primarily the acidic tang--presumably because of a heaping helping of vinegar--that hits the spot.

I have not yet tried it on a turbocharged batch, using the full packet of seasoning mix, but that will be the next challenge.

Incidental links: Trader Joe's introduction to the product is here. And here is a taste test trying to confirm or refute a Reddit rumor that the TJ's sauce is just repackaged Taco Bell taco sauce. They conclude that it is not, though I, too, noticed the similarity. It's probably just because both are so heavily vinegar-based.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. It has earned a permanent spot on the condiment shelf in my refrigerator door.


Addendum 

I wrote this post about 3 hours ago, and just now learned that I wrote and posted it on NATIONAL TACO DAY!

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/food/2019/10/03/free-tacos-and-deals-national-taco-day-national-vodka-day-friday/3838299002/

Trader Joe's Thousand Island Dressing

For the history and variety of ingredients found in Thousand Island dressing, see here.

Confession: I've never previously had Thousand Island dressing. There's a specific reason for this. When I was in high school, I worked at a restaurant, and I watched the assistant manager mixing up a big batch of their house version of Thousand Island dressing, with her bare arm deep in the pot, manually stirring in ketchup and pickle relish. It was a pretty revolting sight. Even since then, when I see it on the store shelf or hear it offered as a choice in a restaurant, I flash back to that and recoil. So buying this bottle at Trader Joe's was a step of personal recovery from adolescent trauma. (OK, "trauma" might be too strong a word there. How about "ickiness"?)

The TJ's version has water, soybean oil, tomato paste, egg yolks, dehydrated onion, salt, cornstarch, cucumber juice, and 10 other ingredients that I don't feel like typing out. It's complicated.

Is it good? Well, it's OK. I've had over half of the bottle now, over the course of maybe a dozen salads. I don't object to it, but it has not become a favorite. It's kind of a weird mix of flavors that just doesn't sit right with me. It's good enough that I'll finish it off, gradually, rather than throw it away, but not good enough to get again.

But I can say this in its favor: It has broken my reflexive aversion to the genre, and made me willing to try other brands.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Cranberry Persimmon Relish

This is Trader Joe's newest version of cranberry sauce, so of course I had to try it for Thanksgiving.

I liked it, didn't love it. It's overly sweetened, so the tartness from the cranberries is completely overwhelmed. I couldn't detect any persimmon flavor, but the orange definitely comes through, as does the distinctive taste of the cloves.


Will I buy it again? 

No. It's a mildly interesting variation on the traditional theme, but I much prefer TJ's famous Fresh Cranberry Sauce.

Trader Joe's Organic Kosher Hot & Spicy Dill Pickle Chips

I didn't think I'd like these, so they sat in my refrigerator for several months before I finally worked up the will to try them.

I could not have been more wrong in my prediction. Not only did I like them, but I liked them so much that they immediately became my first choice in this product category. They are not so hot as to dominate the flavors from a burger; rather, they add a perfect amount of accent flavor and heat. Just as important, they're wonderfully crunchy and thick, unlike many pickle chips that are thin and limp and just kind of sad.


Will I buy them again? 

Yes. What's more, they will be a staple that I'll always keep on hand. I suspect I'll still occasionally buy plain ones, and go back and forth between them. But the best burgers I've ever made since giving up ground beef have been the three I made over the last week with these pickles and the new TJ's Brioche Buns. It's a combination that has changed veggie burgers from occasional use and "also ran" status to among my favorite things to cook for myself. My enthusiasm even extends to adding them to my Top Ten list. (That list now has 76 items in it. It's a paradox. Deal with it.)

Trader Joe's Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Butter Spread

This is a small tub (you can't tell scale from this photo, but notice the number of ounces of product) of butter mixed with brown sugar and cinnamon. If you spread it on hot toast, you'll get essentially the same result as if you used regular butter and then sprinkled a cinnamon/sugar mixture on top--for very slightly less effort.

It's fine, but it's just not a product I need. It's terrible to try to spread when cold, so despite the "keep refrigerated" instruction, I've been leaving it out on the kitchen counter, alongside the regular butter. But I don't have cinnamon toast often enough to use it before it goes bad, so it's likely a lot of it will be wasted.


Will I buy it again? 

No. I'll just continue to use regular butter and McCormick cinnamon-sugar mixture. (Not the Trader Joe's one, for reasons explained here.)

There's also a companion product, "Roasted Garlic & Herb." I did not buy it, and won't, because I don't care for garlic.

Trader Joe's Carolina Gold Barbeque Sauce

I've had this bottle sitting around unopened for over a year. I almost never use barbecue sauce and didn't really feel like finding a recipe in which it would be needed. But then I brought home a new MorningStar fake-meat product, this one a pulled "pork." No sauce included. This gave me an obvious opportunity to crack open the TJ's.

It's fine, though not distinctive. It's straight down the middle in terms of overall flavor, sweetness, heat, etc. It's just what I would expect from a grocery-store BBQ sauce, really. I definitely liked it better than the only other TJ's barbecue sauce I've tried, which was way too sweet.


Will I buy it again? 

Undecided. Now that I've found a product that I like that calls for BBQ sauce, I'll try some more of TJ's offerings in the category and see which I like best.

Trader Joe's Canola Oil Spray

This works as well as Pam--which I've used my entire adult life--and seems to be less messy.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. I'd rather give my money to Trader Joe's than to (insert name of company that makes Pam because I'm too lazy to look it up).

Trader Joe's Apple Cider Jam

Good jam, but with a somewhat deceptive name. Yes, there's apple cider in it, but you'd have no way to know this from tasting it. After all, apple cider is just unfiltered apple juice, so it tastes like...apples. Putting it in apple jam doesn't change much.

What makes this product different from most apple jams has nothing to do with the cider. It's the addition of a medley of what we now consider traditional autumn spices: cinnamon, cloves, etc. So you know what would be a more accurate name? "Apple Pie Jam." And I'd argue that that would be not just more accurate, but also more intriguing. It's jam that tastes like apple pie filling. Who would not want to try that?


Will I buy it again? 

Yes.

Trader Joe's Organic Super Fruit Fruit Spread

This is the best jam/jelly/preserves/spread I've ever had from Trader Joe's, and one of the best I've ever had from any source. Though the cherry is the most prominent, three of the four main fruit ingredients are readily identifiable (I haven't been able to make out the pomegranate component), which is not usually the case when these things get blended. It uses fruit juice concentrates as sweeteners, not sucrose. It's sweet, of course, but it doesn't taste sweetened, even though it is.


Will I buy it again? 

Definitely. I'm even adding it to my Top Ten list.

Trader Joe's Organic Reduced Sugar Cherry Preserves

This is excellent--as good as any cherry jam/preserves I've ever had. I would never know it's a "reduced sugar" variety without looking at the label.


Will I buy it again? 

I don't use cherry as much as strawberry and raspberry, but once in a while for a little change, sure.

Trader Joe's Peach Bellini Jam

This is excellent peach jam. As for the Bellini part? Not so much. Frankly, I wouldn't know prosecco if you hit me in the face with it; my experience with all wines is extremely limited, nearly nonexistent. But I don't taste anything here that suggests white wine--sparkling or not.

It doesn't matter to me, though. I care only whether it's good peach jam, and it most certainly is, with big chunks of flavorful peach, not overly sweetened.


Will I buy it again? 

I eat more strawberry and raspberry than peach jam, but yes, as a once-in-a-while change from my routine.

Trader Joe's Pink Grapefruit Marmalade

Once in a while, I spot something on the new-products shelf at Trader Joe's, and know in about one millisecond that I'm going to love it. This was one such item. Pink grapefruit marmalade is something I've never even imagined before, but my instant soul-deep reaction was, "Yes, this is a thing that needs to exist in the world."

I was not wrong. The pink-grapefruit force is strong with this one. It's sweetened enough that it can serve the same functions as more traditional fruit jams, but not so much that you lose the tart essence of the base fruit (as happens often with, say, many cranberry derivatives). TJ's got this one just right.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. I'm not ready to change my lifelong habit of strawberry or raspberry jam as the thing that belongs on morning toast, but this will make for a nice change of pace occasionally.

Trader Joe's Mango Ginger Chutney

I've never bought any kind of chutney before this. In fact, if asked, I would have been able to give you only an extremely vague definition or description of what "chutney" was. I've probably eaten chutney as a condiment on something at an Indian restaurant a time or two, but I have no specific memory of it.

So my reasons for buying this were just that (1) it was on the new-products shelf, and (2) I attempt to buy virtually every new TJ's product, unless it's a food category that I don't ever eat or something I can be positive I won't like.

I had no idea what to do with the stuff. I tried it on a vegetable-patty burger, and it didn't work very well.

My next idea was better: a topping for fake chicken nuggets on a rice bed. I told Nina that this was what I'd be serving for her next dinner at my house. She came up with what proved to be the key contribution: add some lemon juice to make it into sort of a sweet-and-sour sauce.

I did, using a roughly two parts chutney to one part juice--and it was great! I seriously loved it. The mango comes through less specifically as mango and more as a general fruitiness. The ginger adds a definite bite and tingle, especially in a brief aftertaste. The lemon juice makes for a simultaneously contrasting pucker. There are some raisins scattered in the chutney for an interesting texture contrast. Overall, the combination perfectly tarted up the otherwise quite bland nuggets and rice.


Will I buy it again? 

Definitely. It's a new favorite thing in my life.

Trader Joe's Organic Holiday Fruit Spread

I could tell from the description--"plums, apples, cranberries, cinnamon & cloves"--that I would like this. However, whether it turned out to be a modest "like" or a big one would turn on whether they avoided two obvious traps: (1) Making it too sweet. (2) Dumping in too much cinnamon and cloves.

I'm pleased to report that they passed both tests. It's excellent stuff.

Now I'm just disappointed that they called it "holiday," and will presumably sell it for just a month or two per year. There's no reason this shouldn't be on the shelves all the time.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes.

Trader Joe's Organic Raspberry Fruit Spread

This is very pleasant stuff. And no wonder--the ingredients are just raspberries, grape juice concentrate as a sweetener, pectin, and ascorbic and citric acids.

Predictably, it works anywhere you might usually use raspberry jam. It tastes more natural, less sweet than jam.


Will I buy it again? 

Probably not. Part of that is because it's a lot more expensive than jam. That, at least, is defensible. The other part of the reason isn't, really: I'm a barbarian. I was raised on cheap fruit jam, and still like it. Though I could sense that this spread was how such a product ought to taste, I'm still so used to the stuff that's about half added sugar that that's what I want. I'm sorry.

Trader Joe's Organic Reduced Sugar Raspberry Preserves

I was wary of this stuff, because sugar is the essence of jam/preserves, so 40% less of it seems like enough of a reduction to render the result, well, icky.

I was wrong. It's almost as good as regular raspberry preserves. If you fed it to me without telling me what was different about it, I think I would notice that it was a little less sweet than I was used to, but I would never guess that the sugar reduction was as high as 40%. It's actually kind of amazing that they can get that much sugar out and still have the product be this good.


Will I buy it again? 

It's not going to become my go-to spread for toast in the morning. But if I really needed to cut calories and/or sugar from my diet, then yeah, this would definitely become my first choice. I hope that day never comes, but if it does, I'll be happy to have this product around.

Trader Joe's Chile Lime Seasoning Blend

This is Day Four of New Products Week.


Trader Joe's description of this item can be found here.

Before I bought this, I checked the label for usage suggestions, because on my own, standing in the store, I couldn't think of a single thing I would use this for. The label's first suggestion was to tart up pineapple or jicama. That sounded interesting enough, so I put it in my basket, and also picked up some fresh pineapple on which to try it.

It was a complete fail. The overwhelming flavor that comes from this little bottle is salt. Salt, salt, and more salt. Plus a little lime. Chile? Well, maybe if you stare at the label that promises there are chiles in it, and apply some imagination.

Using the sodium content information on the label, plus some basic math and chemistry, I calculate that this is about 48% salt by weight. Which kinda explains why it's so salty.

That fact suggested that maybe we might better use it in situations where one would ordinarily use plain salt, and see if it worked better there than it did on the pineapple. So the next week I made scrambled eggs the main protein for my weekly dinner with Nina.

This was definitely an improvement--but not enough to want to do it again. With the salt no longer seeming so dominant and out of place, what came through next was the lime. I did not think lime and eggs blended well. And the "heat" promised by the label was still basically AWOL.

A score of zero for two earns this seasoning an unequivocally failing grade, and a trip back to the store for a refund.

For an opinion so contrary that one wonders if we were even trying the same product, see the review by the nice people at the "What's Good at Trader Joe's" blog, here.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Organic Mayonnaise

The only thing for which I use mayonnaise (or mayonnaise-like condiments, to be more precise) is tuna salad for sandwiches. My strong preference, since childhood, has been Kraft Miracle Whip--a statement that will make mayonnaise purists shudder in revulsion, I'm sure. But that's my truth.

How does this compare? Horribly. The texture is fine, but there is almost no flavor. There is certainly no zest, no tanginess, no sweetness.

I used it only once. It was so unacceptable that I knew instantly that I could not and would not power my way through the rest of the jar, and took it back to the store for a refund.

Colossal fail.


Will I buy it again? 

No.


Addendum 

I invited Nina to add her own comments, as I always do when we have both tried a product. She said she doesn't remember this one.

Well, I remember her trying it. We were having fake-meat burgers. She always likes mayo on hers. So I opened this new jar for her. She stuck the tip of her knife into the jar, tasted a bit of the mayonnaise, put the lid back on the jar, and said, "No." She then went to the refrigerator, where I keep a jar of Hellmann's for her. While spreading that on her burger, she explained that the Trader Joe's was, by comparison, completely lacking in any desirable characteristics--and, incidentally, that the world would be better off if nobody but Hellmann's made mayonnaise.