Trader Joe's Glazed Chocolate Donuts

These are cake donuts, with an overly thick and sickeningly sweet glaze. I ate them, but at no time was I thrilled with the experience.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


12 new Trader Joe's items

5 healthy breakfast recipes with just 5 ingredients from Trader Joe's

New Trader Joe's products

8 easy Trader Joe's dinners

Trader Joe's buys

My favorite Trader Joe's fall items

Trader Joe's new fall items for under $5

20 Trader Joe's fall products you need to try

These new products at Trader Joe's scream fall



Best tweets of the week:

I have spent YEARS telling students it’s not “Avocado’s number” and #traderjoes does this. #chemistryteacherstruggles #chemistry #avogadrowouldbesad pic.twitter.com/tIqTFq2j0E

— Mrs. Casteel (@Mrs_Casteel) September 21, 2019

I would like to thank the #TraderJoes gods for smiling down on me in the parking lot wars today. It was a fight to the death, and I emerged victorious.

— brett warner (@yourdailybrett) September 21, 2019

Omg. Only 1 #TraderJoes peanut butter cup left. Sweet baby Jesus help me. #roadtripneeded #IowaCity

— Denise (@quillons) September 22, 2019

Judge me as you must, but I am fully onboard the chocolate hummus train. #TraderJoes

— WhackMateria (@WhackMateria) September 24, 2019

I legit feel like you could take some of the more interesting Trader Joe’s items (frozen or otherwise) & just upgrade the plating presentation & fool people into thinking it was from a trendy new restaurant. I’m looking at you, Truffle Pizza! #TraderJoes #ChallengeMania #Pizza pic.twitter.com/Ndyr0plZuT

— Scott Yager (@SHOTOFYAGER) September 24, 2019

Cashier at #TraderJoes “what are you up to?” Me: “Um shopping here..?Then drinking that 2 buck chuck...? You knew all of that, don’t talk to me. #answers #basic #bitch

— Romy (@beachdays4ever) September 25, 2019

It’s insane that Barbra Streisand has a mall under her house, but I would fully install a #TraderJoes under mine

— Clare Loughran (@TweetleClare) September 25, 2019

This is me! I grab a hand basket with the hopes of restraining myself and end up almost pulling an elbow with all the stuff I shove in. #TraderJoes #shopping #noregrets https://t.co/YNTCtkaQai

— ncmurphy (@ncmurphy5) September 26, 2019

Tis the season for brussels sprouts ravioli at @TraderJoes, but I still dread going there because I HATE being interrogated by the cashier about the food I'm buying. It bring me back to every time my mother asked "do you need to eat that?" #ugh #stop #TraderJoes

— ladyandria (@ladyandria) September 26, 2019

And finally, here's this week's cute cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag cute dog with its Trader Joe's dog treats.

If #TraderJoes needs a new model for their dog treats, I know a big fan. I’m Just saying.... pic.twitter.com/r16kw5perK

— shawnkennedy (@shawnkennedy) September 13, 2019

Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Grain Bread

I've heard people rave about Ezekiel bread. Now I've finally tried it. I don't see what the fuss is about. Though I have tried them side by side, it seems very similar to my recollection of TJ's Organic Daily Bread, except the Ezekiel has more crunchy bits that get stuck between my teeth.


Will I buy it again? 

No. I'd always choose the Organic Daily Bread over this.

Trader Joe's Black Bean & Cheese Taquitos

Back in 2015, I reviewed a similar product, though it included the word "handcrafted" in the name. In 2017, I added a note saying that I had tried them again, and liked them more than I had described the first time. Apparently that product disappeared and has now been replaced by this one. See the company's introduction to it here.

It is a turn for the worse. These are, frankly, terrible. They have been thoroughly trashed by the Trader Joe's Blandification Committee. There is zero evidence of cheese, other than the package's claims; it can be neither seen nor tasted. The filling is just a mushy black-bean paste, a substantial portion of which oozes out when they're heated.


Will I buy it again? 

No. Trader Joe's has replaced a good product with a bad one, and it's incomprehensible to me. Nina shared these taquitos with me, and agrees.

Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


13 Trader Joe's items to try if you hate cooking

Product comparison between Trader Joe's and Costco

7 three-ingredient dinners from Trader Joe's

7 ways to use Trader Joe's new Everything Bagel Greek Yogurt Dip

Trader Joe's "balancing act" on innovative products

5 healthy dinner recipes with just 5 ingredients from Trader Joe's

What to do with Trader Joe's cinnamon bun spread

3 new fall-themed products at Trader Joe's

5 new Trader Joe's products to try, and 5 to skip

6 Trader Joe's pumpkin products a dietitian loves

PETA praises Trader Joe's for removing circus elephant images from packages

Trader Joe's employees reveal what it's really like to work there


Best tweets of the week:

Thank you, #TraderJoes for the perfect #anniversary gifts. pic.twitter.com/yQdvp6gliZ

— Heather (@heatherpttrsn) September 15, 2019

Move over, astronomical physics: it’d appear the hardest concept for people to grasp is that of the Two-Lane Checkout Line at #TraderJoes

— Skylar Korby (@skorbylar) September 16, 2019

In my sweater & leggings bout to prowl around #TraderJoes for fall seasonal items like: pic.twitter.com/7B6jdvBx5e

— Jaq Lugg (@jaqinthewild) September 19, 2019

And finally, here's this week's cute cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag:

Trader Joe’s literally has everything 👏🏼 #TraderJoes #caturday #hurricaneprep #HurricaneDorian2019 #Dorian2019 pic.twitter.com/ktIA6l553h

— Jenny (@jennayyyyx) August 31, 2019

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Bun Spread

The idea is genius: take the ooey gooey good stuff that tops Cinnabons, and sell it in a jar. Convert ordinary toast into a simulacrum of the decadent breakfast that we indulge in at the airport before an early-morning flight.

But it doesn't really work. The texture is pleasantly thick and creamy, but the taste misses the mark. There's some cinnamon, sure, but it's kind of wimpy. The tapioca and brown sugar seem more prominent. And without the cream-cheese element, it can't replicate what Cinnabon does.

Now, to be fair, they're not claiming Cinnabon specifically, so I'm making a comparison that TJ's doesn't. After all, not all cinnamon buns are Cinnabons. But that's what I was hoping for, and I ended up disappointed.


Will I buy it again? 

No. It's OK, but not great. It's basically a thickened, spreadable form of cinnamon sugar. I don't need that.

Trader Joe's Super Sour Scandinavian Swimmers

This is a soured-up version of the original. See Trader Joe's introduction to the product here. "Flavors include: red berry (starfish), huckleberry (dolphin), orange (tang fish), and strawberry (clam shell)."


I liked these much more than the original. The tartness improves them by a factor of <doing math> precisely 3.8.


My only gripe was that the bag I bought was inexplicably biased toward the red berry starfish; at least half of my candies were that one flavor, with the others given short shrift. This is probably just a weird sampling problem that won't be repeated in other bags.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes.