Trader Joe's Organic Thick & Chunky Salsa

This is a new product; see Trader Joe's own description of it here.

My first impression was that it was nearly identical to my favorite Fire-Roasted Tomato Salsa. That prompted me to open a jar of the latter (which I always have sitting around) and try them side by side. They're close, but distinguishable. The new one is a little chunkier, a little hotter, a little less sweet, and a little more oniony. On every one of those parameters, I prefer the old favorite; i.e., I like less chunky, less hot, more sweet, and less onion. The only characteristic on which I judge it better is that it's a little bit thicker--less runny--and therefore doesn't have quite as much tendency to drip off the edges of tortilla chips before they get to your mouth.


Will I buy it again? 

No. It's good enough to finish off one jar, but I wouldn't pick it over the Fire-Roasted Tomato.

Trader Joe's Malabari Paratha

This is a new item; see Trader Joe's introduction to it here.

The directions are to heat it from frozen on the stove in a lightly oiled pan, adding a bit of browning. I did this, then served it topped with a mixture of Yellow Tadka Dal (which I said I wouldn't buy again, but then forgot) and some fake meat. The result wasn't one of my best culinary creations; it was all kind of dull-looking and dull-tasting.

The TJ's web page explains the difference between paratha and naan, but I sure wouldn't be able to tell which one I was eating if you put one of them in front of me, except perhaps by the spiral pattern on the paratha. Nina said that the paratha wasn't as puffy as they're supposed to be. I wouldn't know, having never ever heard of it before, let alone eaten it.


Will I buy it again? 

No. As a carb base for protein and veggies, I prefer rice or some form of noodles, and I don't think it's good enough to have by itself on the side. It's not that it's a bad product; I just don't see a role for it in my eating.

Another Twitter outing

Trader Joe's generally has a strict prohibition on its suppliers identifying themselves as such. But once in a while, one of them breaks the rules. Assuming the tweeter here is being honest, it's another instance of this phenomenon:

Had a hunch that this new #glutenfree Cocoa Crunch Cereal from #TraderJoes was from @FreedomFoodsAU. Company confirmed they are! I love this #freefrom manufacturer and I felt better about the product. pic.twitter.com/hP1UVubkJg

— Baltimore GlutenFree (@BaltGF) February 26, 2019

Screen shot, just in case that link dies at some point:

Trader Joe's Vacuum Dried Crunchy Red Dragon Fruit Chips

I've never eaten dragon fruit. It's a weird, scary-looking thing. Fortunately, the dried chips made from it are much less intimidating. They're still plenty strange, but at least they don't look, I dunno, lethal. Just looking at them, I would guess them to be some sort of red corn chips with maybe chia seeds--like a new variation of these chips. But nope--that would be way off.

The texture really is--as the name implies--like chips. The flavor is hard to describe, other than being obviously fruity. I found it to be sort of halfway between cherry and strawberry, but with an element unlike either of them. Not unpleasant at all. And, oddly, seeming familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.


Will I buy it again? 

No. But it's definitely worth trying once just for the new experience.

Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


This smart oven knows how long to cook Trader Joe's frozen food by scanning the bar code

Making a living reselling Trader Joe's products on Amazon

Trader Joe's announces recall of Gorilla Munch cereal for undeclared gluten

A love letter to Trader Joe's

CBS's "48 Hours" focuses on the Trader Joe's hostage situation

7 pet names based on Trader Joe's foods

What to do with Trader Joe's new amba mango sauce

7 new desserts to try at Trader Joe's

New affordable, organic products debut at Trader Joe's

Most searched-for Trader Joe's item in each state

15 keto-friendly Trader Joe's snacks



Best tweets of the week:

For the 8th time this month, I would like to apologIze to all the customers at @traderjoes today that had to swerve out of the way due to Emmie’s violent driving of the shopping cart. She’s getting better I promise. #traderjoes #savvyshopper #cart https://t.co/8Ybh1llgpg pic.twitter.com/TvdWvZw5vt

— Matt Wintz (@WintzWeather) February 16, 2019

Confession time: I say the stickers are for my two girls but really they are for me. #TraderJoes pic.twitter.com/rMgOEUHBsy

— Teaching all the grades (@teaching_all) February 17, 2019

Mans at Trader Joe’s didn’t ask me about my weekend or anything; just rang up my groceries and let me go on my way.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

— Phonte (@phontigallo) February 17, 2019

I’d honestly rather waterboard a litter of puppies than try to find parking at a #TraderJoes

— Blocka Flocka Flame (@WHUTUPDOE) February 18, 2019

Just watched a girl in #TraderJoes touch all of the blueberries in a pack, EAT ONE, then PUT. THEM. BACK. !

— 🌬 madison (@_maddye) February 18, 2019

Just witnessed a woman go into Trader Joe’s, yell because they were out of everything bagel season and walk out. And I thought I was the only Real Housewife/husband of this area. #TraderJoes #Kent

— Chris Lyle (@lylestyle23) February 19, 2019

Why do the samples at Trader Joe’s always taste 100x better than the same exact items that you buy and cook at home? #TraderJoes

— Daniel Wilson (@Grayson31184) February 20, 2019

My biggest wish was to study in America.... now my biggest wish is Trader Joes opening a shop in The Netherlands#BestConsumerExperience #TraderJoe #TJ #TraderJoes #America #SDSU

— Loïs (@LoisBijtHond) February 22, 2019

And finally, here's this week's cute cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag:

#traderjoes pic.twitter.com/qg1GNyvYT7

— LaurieB79 (@LaurieB1967) February 21, 2019

Trader Joe's Broccoli & Kale Pizza Crust

"I don't think that ever in the history of pizza has anybody said, 'What I need is broccoli and kale in my pizza crust.'"

So said Nina last night after trying a few bites of this. I had made a pizza with this crust, TJ's Fat Free Pizza Sauce, TJ's Shredded Mozzarella Cheese, and my favorite fake chicken strips, from Beyond Meat.

In that configuration, I found that the corn flour of the pizza crust came through more than the broccoli and kale, but I could taste those portions if I cut off a little piece of the crust and ate it without the toppings.

Physically, the crust held up well, with no significant sogginess.

Because of a long history of TJ's frozen foods requiring longer in the oven than specified on the package, I maxed out the baking times from the ranges suggested in the directions. Here's my advice: Don't do that. I seriously overcooked it, and we had burnt edges all around. Go with the minimum suggested times.


Will I buy it again? 

A week ago, I didn't know that broccoli & kale pizza crust existed, and had never even imagined that it could exist. I would be happy to subject myself to the memory-erasing flasher thing from "Men In Black" and return to that state of blissful ignorance.


via GIPHY

In other words, no.

If you want or need a gluten-free pizza crust, TJ's own cauliflower-based one is better. It's both more neutral in flavor, and, well, not green. Pizza crust should not be green.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Sunflower Seed Butter Cups

The buzz about this is that it's a healthier alternative to the classic Reese's. I think that's bunk. ("Bunk," by the way, is derived from the name of the politician for whom Buncombe County, North Carolina--where I now live--was named.) I see no reason to believe that sunflower seed "butter" is better for you (or less bad for you) than peanut butter.

It certainly has less flavor. The center of these candy cups has sort of a buttery texture, but little discernible taste--very unlike peanut butter. I got the sense of just eating congealed vegetable oil surrounded (or, in Trader Joe's favorite word, "enrobed") by dark chocolate.

Nina and I each had one. I finished mine, reluctantly. She took two bites and refused to have more, sensibly saying that there's no point eating chocolate that is not enjoyable.


Will I buy it again? 

No.