Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


Trader Joe's issues "health alert" (not recall) on three salads and wraps

18 gluten-free Trader Joe's products to try

Amazing inside account of the Trader Joe's shooting/hostage situation



Best tweets of the week:

There is no feeling of deep betrayal like going to #TraderJoes and finding out that the Everything But the Bagel seasoning is out of stock

— nats (@natiagredo) July 30, 2018

I just really love to dance down the aisles of #TraderJoes 🤷🏽‍♀️ #dancelife pic.twitter.com/bdrkWY5zFP

— Kylie Shea (@KylieSheaXO) July 30, 2018

Realizing that when other 25yo's are looking for a new apartment, proximity to bars, work, the gym, etc. are usually the priorities. The only thing I care about? Being walking distance to #TraderJoes and @Costco. Not sure when grocery shopping became my main hobby...👵🏼 pic.twitter.com/Jept8iFVRi

— Kelly Norris Taylor (@kntaylor0521) August 1, 2018

Hey #traderjoes I'm gonna pop in later but just want to confirm what ID I need to get my groceries. Passport ok?

— Fiasco Fray (@fiascofray) August 1, 2018

Just another example of why #TraderJoes is actually your fantasy husband ❤️ Can a company be president?? pic.twitter.com/vp26bSosoM

— Jackson Reynolds (@jackreynolds_jr) August 1, 2018

Hey guys- headed to #TraderJoes tomorrow. Do you think my license is good enough for ID or should I bring my passport card, too?

You can never be too sure with these new grocery ID laws. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— JJ🌙⭐️Blessed be the Fruit Loops (@VTResist) August 2, 2018

And finally, here's this week's cute cat birds in a Trader Joe's grocery bag:

This bird decided to make a nest on the Trader Joe's bag which is on the shelf on the back porch.#TraderJoes pic.twitter.com/yWDxOd99Nv

— WayneStation (@station_wayne) July 31, 2018

Baby bird is too young to leave the nest on the Trader Joe's bag on the back porch. #TraderJoes pic.twitter.com/D4NQCdL6Zz

— WayneStation (@station_wayne) July 31, 2018

Trader Joe's Mini Dark Chocolate Mint Coins

These are, in essence, Trader Joe's version of Girl Scouts Thin Mints--and they want you to know that, without quite saying it. Notice the camping theme of the artwork on the box. Notice the hibiscus symbol bringing to mind the Girl Scouts logo of the faces in profile. Notice the reference to "merit badge" in the wording around that.

So, do they measure up? Close.

First, they're tiny, probably only half the diameter of GSTMs. Second, there's a bit of an off note in the background, kind of like unbaked flour. I don't know what's up with that.

But other than that, they're a pretty good imitation--certainly good enough to carry an addict through the 11 long, dark months when the little girls in green aren't peddling their crack cocaine cookies.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. They're not quite as good as the originals, but (1) they're a lot cheaper, (2) you don't have to deal with pushy parents and order sheets, and (3) no waiting.

Lightlife Smart Tenders Meatless Savory Chicken

This is the latest fake-meat product Trader Joe's has started carrying. You can see the manufacturer's information about it here. It's mostly a blend of wheat and soy protein.

I like these just fine. They rank right up there with my current favorite similar product, this one from Beyond Meat, made from soy and pea protein.

Nina thought they were OK in flavor, but deficient in texture, being too homogeneous.

My biggest complaint is that there's only six in a box. That was enough for two servings, as the label indicates--but just barely. I think both of us would have been happier with one more each.


Will I buy it again? 

Sure. It's been a while since I tried Trader Joe's own Chickenless Tenders, but I think I like these even better.

Trader Joe's Chantilly Cream Vanilla Bean Mini Sheet Cake

This is obviously the same basic concept as the Chocolate Ganache version discussed here a few days ago. I was surprised to find that I liked this better, which usually isn't the case when comparing a vanilla and chocolate pair of options. This was mainly because of the excellent frosting, which is rich with that intriguing vanilla bean flavor. The underlying cake is merely so-so.


Will I buy it again? 

No. It's more interesting than the chocolate, but still not good enough to beat what I would make for myself.

Roundup

This is my weekly compilation of news and other links about Trader Joe's.


8 new Trader Joe's products to try

Shooting and hostage situation at L.A. Trader Joe's  more  more  more  more

Trader Joe's issues statement on shooting at Silver Lake store

Lawsuit claims Trader Joe's manuka honey is deceptively labeled

10 things to try if you're new to Trader Joe's

You can't call yourself a Trader Joe's fan until you've tried these 30 products



Best tweets of the week:

#traderjoes on a Saturday because i wanted to feel the thrill of fighting for my life.

— amie (@AmieThings) July 21, 2018

Patently untrue thing I said today: “I will open this tub of #TraderJoes crispy oatmeal chocolate chip cookies 🍪 & only eat one”

— Karen Pfeiffer Jones (@nykaren24) July 23, 2018

Hey @TraderJoesList Love your food, so good, so cheap, keeping me afloat in NYC, but WHY DO YOU PUT THE SAUCE PACKETS UNDERNEATH THE SALAD IN YOUR TO-GO SALADS? #traderjoes

— Sam McGuinness (@sam_pint) July 25, 2018

I went to #TraderJoes tonight and they were out of the Mandarin Orange Chicken and enchiladas #MillennialNightmare 😩 pic.twitter.com/pG0SpefyN1

— Avery Powell WCAX (@averynpowell) July 25, 2018

Business idea:

A restaurant that uses #TraderJoes Everything Bagel Seasoning for every dish.

— 🌑)))Kev(((🌑 (@thelowtide_) July 26, 2018

Why, #Traderjoes, WHY?! You got rid of my favorite mushroom turnovers?!?! why don't you just stab me in the heart instead 😭😭 #whatsfordinner #foodfail

— Roshioshi (@Roshioshi) July 27, 2018

Dog is getting more adventurous, ate a whole can of hand balm from Trader Joe’s. Even chewed on the metal part. #mydogateit #DogsofTwittter 🐕 #Traderjoes

— Tatyana Behring. 🌷🧠🐕🌿💥🥑🍵🎨🏃🏻‍♀️ (@artsyshmartsy) July 27, 2018

My cashier at #TraderJoes convinced me that these so-called carrot spirals were “sooo good.” They’ve sat in my freezer for 3 months. Today I made them... and they’re SOOOO GOOD. I’ll never doubt my #TJ cashier again! (And Slinky approves too!) #traderjoes #rescuedog pic.twitter.com/vqDtVmOGrI

— Coleen Skeabeck (@ColeenSkeabeck) July 27, 2018

Just got banned for life from #TraderJoes in a dream. I only go there about once a year because it's a sensory overload for me.

Scene:
(Me wearing headphones shopping in TJ. Raw chicken juice begins to spill from my cart. I notice and start cleaning when employee arrives)

1/4

— Chris Lewton (@lewtron) July 27, 2018

I suspect that one of the few reasons mankind is allowed to live on #Earth is the invention of things like #Cookiebutter #tasty #foodforthought #thoughtforfood #TraderJoes pic.twitter.com/G6hLaTW9xk

— Phiam Ash (@PhiamAsh) July 27, 2018

#Squirrels #wildlife #wildlifephotography #peanuts #Bamba #TraderJoes #Friends #sharing #nature #naturelovers #hiking pic.twitter.com/FYzjAoW9VF

— Kat (@thebluebirdsong) July 28, 2018

I went to #traderjoes today and forgot to get their peanut butter pretzels.....my life is ruined pic.twitter.com/vEbJoISPyR

— Audie Lee (@maitreyaa_) July 28, 2018

In #YouCantMakeThisStuffUp news: The TJ’s bagger just asked me an amazing question. “How many 10 year olds do you think you could take? Like before they had the edge?” - I said 5. He was pleased and agreed. #TraderJoes

— Krystal Peak (@KrystalPeak) July 27, 2018

And finally, here's this week's cute cat in a Trader Joe's grocery bag:

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Ganache Mini Sheet Cake

This is a small, flat cake. It's entirely acceptable, but nothing special. The frosting's excessive thickness is my only specific nit to pick.


Will I buy it again? 

No. On the rare occasions that I'm going to have chocolate cake, I strongly prefer the ones I can easily make at home with any of several excellent mixes. Besides, chocolate cake is better with cherry frosting than with chocolate frosting. That's just science.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Cartwheel Cookies

Two bites into one of these, Nina said, "I declare these to be awful."

She is not wrong.

First, every single one of them was badly broken. They're unusually brittle, and they shatter, leaving crumbs everywhere.

Second, they're supposed to be peanut butter cookies, with more peanut butter in the filling. But the cookie part has zero peanut butter flavor; they seem to be just grossly over-sweetened sugar cookies.

Third, the peanut butter filling doesn't seem like real peanut butter. Though it does taste like peanuts, it's kind of dry and stiff. The box calls it "creamy." This is a lie.


Will I buy it again? 

No. I powered through 2/3 of the box over the course of a few nights, hoping against hope that my perception of them would improve. It didn't, and I threw the rest away.

For a perspective so different that it's hard to believe we ate the same product, see this from the good people at the "What's Good at Trader Joe's" blog.