Trader Joe's Soy Slices Cheese Alternative--Cheddar Flavor

A while back, Nina and I reviewed a TJ's product with the same name as this one, but different packaging. I don't know for sure whether TJ's just changed the label, or actually changed the product composition--but I suspect the latter, for two reasons.

1. The new one says "99% lactose free," and the previous version didn't. I suspect they reformulated it to have even less dairy content than before, in order to appease both the lactose-intolerant and the impure vegans willing to make tiny compromises.

2. I described the former version as "a reasonably convincing fake cheese." For this one, wild horses could not drag those words out of my mouth.

If somebody blindfolded you, put a piece of this stuff in your mouth, and asked you to identify it, your response would be, "Limp, oily, thinly sliced cardboard." When, to your surprise, you were told that that was wrong, and you should think of a food product, you would express disbelief. You would then start guessing at random, hoping to end this stupid game. But you would get through, oh, maybe 100 food categories before desperation provoked you to guess "cheese." BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING EVEN VAGUELY CHEESE-LIKE ABOUT THIS CRAP.


Will I buy it again? 

No. It went back to the store for a refund. I'm adding it to my Bottom Ten list. Truly awful.


Nina's View

This stuff literally has no flavor. And when I say "literally," I mean LITERALLY literally, not metaphorically or emphatically literally. NO FLAVOR. None. It does not even taste of cardboard. There's a little salt, maybe. And some oiliness.

The notion that this bears any resemblance to cheddar is beyond absurd.

Seriously, TJ, get a grip.