Monday, March 9, 2015
Trader Joe's Corn Tortilla Flatbreads
There are some food categories that Trader Joe's has in such mind-boggling variety that one can hardly hope ever to try them all: Dried fruit. Trail mix. Bread. Juice. Cookies. Salsa. Cheese. And right up there with those is crackers. Every time I finish one kind and go shopping for the next, it's like playing eeny-meeny, but with so many choices that not even conjoined twins with polydactyly could hope to finish the rhyme. So I basically head to that section of the store and grab the first thing I see that I haven't tried before. Sometimes that works out great: see Some Enchanted Cracker. Sometimes, not so much: see Water Crackers--or these.
To their credit, they're attractive, conveniently sized, protectively packaged. They break cleanly without falling apart. In short, they work well physically as a vehicle for whatever you wish to put atop them.
But no perfection of form can compensate for the worst possible sin a cracker can commit: They're strong on the onion. You may have figured out by now that I have a deep, intense, soul-loathing for all things oniony. That includes these crackers. I knew from the first bite that they had the foul ingredient, which I quickly confirmed by looking at the list of ingredients. I thought I could perhaps power through it, just this once, since they are otherwise quite nice crackers. I ate half a dozen of them with some lovely cheese, but just could not stop hearing my mouth shout to my brain, "ONION! GET IT OUT OF HERE!"
If TJ's ever decides to market a new variation on this product, "Onion-Free Corn Tortilla Flatbreads," I'm gonna be all over it.
Will I buy it again?
Onion, spelled backwards, begins and ends with a big fat NO.
On March 4, somebody posted on Twitter a gripe that her favorite crackers--these--had been discontinued. I have not confirmed that, but if you fail to find them in your local TJ's, that may be why.